chronicles of young

Currently typing this on phone as I head out of NUS for the last time as a (graduated) student. Went back to drop off the Honours Room key and my heart feels like it wants to linger. I look and finger the key a final time, and tell myself: This season has ended. And with that, the clang of the key and I walked away, no turning back. Walking down the stairs I've climbed countless times (almost always in haste), I reflected that perhaps in this journey, I'll always be discovering that the next season is a more true calling/place I should be. And the previous one is there to prepare me for the next. My heart was screaming for time to stop as the HK exchange ended, and the first few months back were terrible. Yet that season of my life, which has just ended, has been one of the best. (Ha ha ha, guess what, I think I've said that for the other past seasons too). What a beautiful adventure You have called us to, Lord. Joys and trials unimaginable, You show us who ...

And with the last day of Project Masterpiece for the commencement ceremonies tomorrow, this chapter in NUS is really really coming to an end. These past few (crazy busy and blessed) days where I have been traversing familiar places in school, the memories attached to those places put a smile on my face as I recount my blessings. Perhaps it is only as we look back that we see, how beautiful the journey has been. But I have been immensely blessed to already know how blessed I am throughout university- because I have a clear vision and purpose for what I hope to do in NUS and where I want to be. With my own commencement this Monday night, graduation suddenly becomes official (I have made a clear promise to myself not to take advantage of student card discounts anymore), which also means the imminence of work. I was reminded of it just now and I almost couldn't bear to think of how my life will be so drastically changed. Will I be jaded and cease to believe in why I started on the...

And so. After exactly 24h from when I woke up yesterday, the work is done. Father, You have been so gracious to grant me the desires of my heart. When I have not always delighted myself in You. But still, You have given me such clarity of purpose, such strength, drive, such anointing of the Holy Spirit this semester. I guess that's why, in light of all these, 我要为自己别无所求. 不是不在乎，而是只要从神父手中领取. I am thankful: "Thesis is an individual research journey but I am triply blessed in this journey. My first supervisor, Dr Marcus Chiu, taught me to think more critically and pushed me to look beyond the superficial questions. What I'd thought was a straightforward research question became a conceptually fundamental one about human perception and behaviour. My second supervisor, Dr Choo Hyekeung, was ever so patient with my unprecise fluff and I owe much of my quantitative thinking and SPSS skills to her. I am also indebted to Mr Mohamed Naser, who made the research so much smoother and ea...

啊~ 又到了拜六，坐在上个礼拜坐的位置。  荣耀大君王， 欢迎你在我们中间。 你应许了我们，而且是远比我们敢想象或启求的。  真的是化腐朽为神奇，哈哈想到这是我的华文老师跟爸妈说她不能做的。你在我们里面成了奇迹，通过这些渺小胆怯的心灵动工。 好期待主日，Sunday School 后要和姐妹们 (haha literally; it's Mrs Yong and Dilys) 去吃韩国buffet :> 然后回家，静静地在主面前。又是一个充满福分的星期。  过后 | 贪吃记 在从小吃到大的咖啡店等爸妈，都说不饿。看到新开的中国拉面店，就叫了碗一起吃。妈妈说，没拿辣椒啊~ 我就去拿，不小心拿了一大把麻辣油，她竟然都搅进面里。惨了爸爸不吃了。  流了大把鼻涕，舌头麻到痛，不过吃到很爽： 走过香味肉干店，妈妈问，要吃豆沙饼吗？ 我说想吃旗子饼，那种没馅的。  啊！妈妈就走向我因为怕衅臭从来都没去过的店铺，那个五金店卖各种各样的饼干酥饼，看了很开心。两个贪吃婆好像眼看就满足了，没有旗子饼。又走到另一个店铺，那边暖暖的，因为她再磨花生，香味莫名令我快活。又是不同的粿，在那里终于有我们想吃的。Angku kueh <3 一边走一边吃的零食最好吃。咬一口，喂妈妈一口，一人一半感情不散。

Praise the LORD.  Forget not who He is, our Creator God and Abba Father, Who shows Himself faithful at every turn, Who weaves together strands in the tapestry of grace. Though my heart is shaken, it should not be moved, It's anchor held fast in firm assurance: our God reigns. O my soul, look to the Lord. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Selah Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,  which cannot be shaken but endures forever (Psalm 125:1)  Return, my soul, to your sure Rest. He has chosen you to bear fruit that will last. Praise the LORD. I thank God for His providences and encouragement today. Had a hearty breakfast with whole-grain bread and cheese/kaya combo that I really liked, and reached school at 8.50am (wayyyy earlier than for 9am policy class which I am always slightly late for).  So I actually thought that Dr Irene Ng called me into her office to chide me about something (guilty conscience). B...

    Praise the LORD.  Praise the Father all ye faithful for His kairos, Praise the Son all ye weary for soul's rest, Praise the Spirit all ye beloved for truth timeless. Praise the LORD. Who pursues the least of man,  Who completes the good work in us, Who established creation with its natural laws.   Selah Praise the LORD. Who works all things for our good, Who gave the perfect law that we may live, Who made Sabbath for man, Not man for Sabbath, that we may be free indeed. Selah  Praise the LORD. He blesses the finite work of our hands, Unto Him they bear fruit that will last. He is good, His love endures forever, He dwells with us in the trial of silence. Our souls find not rest,  Until they rest in Him. Praise the LORD.  Honestly, I shuddered a little when I think about the week ahead. Thursday is when I am supposed to meet my thesis supervisor and give her my study hypotheses...

Since I have been trying to be fluent in the three languages of English, Chinese and Malay in the past few months, I realised that the way I think and perceive things might have changed. It is very interesting because it is in light of another language that I see the idiosyncrasies of a particular one. Haha I am also trying to revise Bahasa Melayu while distracting myself from thesis for awhile. Language does shape thinking, even one's identity. It breaks my heart everytime I remember that in Japanese, there is no word for that unconditional, agape love. Can one appreciate fully what he cannot put a word to? Reminded of the book 1984, where Newspeak was used to suppress individualism, and also the movie The Giver where 'precise language' was demanded and emotional language suppressed. Have been learning more about Malay culture ( budaya Melayu ) through pantun (Malay poetry) and peribahasa. But it is the words that amaze me sometimes: merendah diri - literal translat...

It's the 4am epiphany again. I am very glad that this time it was for Glory Presbyterian Church. Pretty sure my proposal will be taken favorably, excited to see what happens. Thank you, Father, You have let me do what I wanted to do. On more trivial things, I discovered another time capsule while searching for those One Piece name stickers I got made eons ago (don't know why I suddenly got reminded of their existence). Introspection is my nature, I am sure of that now.  The closest reason is (2) it was really a pleasant surprise. Jolted my memories of a more awkward Kang back in Secondary 2, still needy for friends' affirmations, trying to fit into the cool kids gang. Those were the days of Neoprints, junk food at JEC, altercations with people (including once with Newtown Secondary kids lol).   I really thank God for preserving me. Not only that, He has added so much to me such that my 'priorities' have been fulfilled, even though He was way ...

"the day of small things" Zech 4:10 As I stalk myself (reading past posts and flipping through my journal) and reflecting on the Word during QT I realised that something that keeps coming up throughout this semester so far is- Small things in the lives of individuals are weaved together into a beautiful narrative that is also in the Bible, of creation to new creation. How is God telling me to respond? As I do more fun stuff in the next few weeks- exam blessings, thesis (yeaa I guess its fun) and project work, I haven't really had the time to sit down and reflect/pray/think. Have to really think about my future professional trajectory now- literally forced to. SunRay Scheme and PhD in Hong Kong (?!). Both of which I initially viewed with trepidation and don't really want to think about. But these are really great opportunities and I should appreciate them as such. So thank God. If anything, I can trust in His providence, shown so tangibly this week thus...

Nursing a quarter cup of cold milk to calm my gnawing stomach and hopefully I will sleep better later. Doesn't help that my heart is palpitating from both the caffeine and what God has placed upon me tonight. So. I have been elected into the 63rd Exco of NUS VCF, as Outreach Coordinator (OC). It is a position that is aligned to what I am passionate for and which I want VCF to grow more in. But all this is on hindsight. I shall retrace back to when something imperceptibly shifted, and detail it so that I can look back (Hi future Kang reading this) and remember that which will start me on this cray journey that has already begun. So I was praying for VCF AGM for sometime, fuzzy vague idea about who was being elected but just praying that the Exco will be united in love and grow the ministry. Yesterday as I was praying for AGM, I had this idea that I was going to be nominated as OC. My response was like Oh well, okay up to You God, while dismissing the thought because I am like ...

“Each day, we wake slightly altered, and the person we were yesterday is dead. So why, one could say, be afraid of death, when death comes all the time?” - John Updike Particularly struck by this. So true for me, for as I wake, it is with vestiges of yesterday that influences my feelings about today and yet the self has been changed by what was. Before today is done, want to do a short post to remember today. Nothing spectacular, just another ordinary day. Well, I had my final paper for year 3, and that marks the end of this semester which somehow feels special because it is the semester after exchange where I have been altered so much. And my year 4 friends have graduated and that will be me in one year's time. Ambivalent feels. Anyway. I was just praying this morning and getting distracted while studying thinking that after the paper I will let God lead me to wherever/whomever. But obviously because it is the norm to go out and celebrate the end of the semester with friends...

Today was in school at the unearthly hour of 7.45am, to start the first shift of Directions booth. Think it was the lack of sleep these past few days; I had a fleeting existential crisis when my Dad announced that it was time to wake up. So I was just there, thinking I will make the most of this long 'unproductive' time but not really expecting much. Had a pretty good time getting to know fellow VCFers and also! telling Nathene about my idea to get the whole CG to support a child through school + pray intentionally for him/her through Care Channels International. But the highlight was really engaging this freshie who needed to get somewhere for an interview. She was sweaty from walking (I think) and seemed rather flustered. Just really thankful that we had a good conversation during our 5 minutes walk to her destination, aside from the fact that I helped her in a tangible way. I'm not sure where it will lead (if it is even in my place to see where this will lead), bu...

Another semester of school is ending soon, and as I reflect on this semester, the chorus of Written in the Stars (Westlife, not Tenie Tempah) rang so true: When I look at my life, how the pieces fall into place, it just wouldn't rhyme, without You At my very core, You satisfy me Lord. And You have taught me to truly delight in You and You only this semester. When I so desperately wanted friends, not to bless them but rather to have people to eat lunch with so I won't worry about eating lunch alone in school, to cafe hop with, to take nice pictures with, You did not give it to me. Instead, You showed me how self-centred I am. Then, when I told You, I must centre myself on You so please help me to- You gave me company when I needed it. I found that I was a better friend, and much more assured in the friendships I have. When I see how my path, seem to end up before Your face When I asked to be rooted deeper in church, You showed me that again, fellowship is God-centred:...