Showing posts from October, 2019

1 month in, 4 months in

Just happened to read this post 'Not Settling' when I went to self-stalk like I often do. Quite apt for today :> As I remember, I wrote this post with mixed feelings, 9 days before I said Yes to b0Bear (and that purely because it was a nice sunny day, and he wanted a day to mark). I was already decided in my heart that I was going to say Yes to him but well... still kinda reluctant to change the status quo because it meant giving up my independent "I do not need to be accountable to you, you are not my Dad" mindset. What it meant in my brain: (1) Accountable for whereabouts, time spent with people etc, and (2) Needing to be patient, spend effort to explain my inner workings/thoughts/feelings where previously in my own space I could just be content with journalling things down to process. I was also (very) afraid, of being lulled into 'settling' with someone and not living to the fullest in taking risks, both for self and God. Well, 1 month into thi