Showing posts from June, 2021

F**k this, God

 Yeah. I am in a very angry place. And I cannot really see anything else in that place. I am oscillating through feelings of rage, grief, sadness, loneliness and just feeling like F all this shit.  If it was a non-Christian, I would have taken it in stride (I hope.. haha). As it is I think I feel really traumatised by this whole fiasco and I really don't want to meet with her but I need to. I guess this is all compounded when I am in a foreign land and I don't think I can talk to people who know both of us. On the other hand I keep wondering if I have been over-amplifying this and it is also quite wearisome. Okay, I think I need to be clear that at the heart of the issue she has, it is good. But she was really disagreeable and I felt like I wasn't even given the chance to share who I am or even just my thoughts on the matter. And that is what hurt the most, terribly badly. Did you even want to know me as a person?  I really don't know why this hurt so badly... its not l