chronicles of young

 Coming back to CoY (288 posts over about 15 years!), I just realised that this platform has taken me through my pimply adolescence through to arrive at adulthood. Where there is a growing realisation and acceptance that life is probably always gonna be tough and God has meant for that on this side of heaven.  I feel now though, an immense gratitude at how life turned out for me. Though the Author's pen is continuing to write the narrative, the chapters that have unfolded so far and how the story is (seems to be) going has me looking forward to the future.  My cup has the verse: "She looks forward to the future with joy." (Proverbs 31:25) The verse comes from the well-known passage on the "virtuous wife", but is more about the beauty of Wisdom.  I'm reflecting on a nudge to welcome another one to live in our home. That as I have called it Meno, to abide , as a vision for our home, that those who need nurturing and to be fed by God can come. It challenges my ...

 "His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man. but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love."  Psalm 147: 10-11 Was sitting and mulling, mostly trying to be conscious of God's presence. And I landed on Psalm 147 which begins with praise. A reminder to choose praise.  And this was the part that prodded me gently, with me feeling like God is so so holy and yet He prods me gently in my helpless state. I have been oppressed by the thoughts in my mind and the expectations absorbed from the world and nurtured (yes, nurtured) within myself.  It shows up in the quiet pride that I always shut down but as I take some time to mull on it, I know that it comes from my idea of winning in life. As if life is a race to be won. It shows up in my simmering anxiety that threatens to boil over at a frequency that I find too much. I would love to be truly free and alive in You, Lord.  And so, as...

Actually I'm just like what the shit... allow me to rant for awhile and let out the negativity.  Was gonna post an IG story on Close Friends but realised I didn't really want to talk about stuff should anyone reply so putting it here for an almost-imaginary or future audience (hopefully me in the future feeling much better). I really have not 释怀 and believe me, I've tried. Daily, many times a day, especially after talking with boss.  Last month I was on the track of I will just buckle down and finish my KRAs, and for awhile it worked but how long can I suppress my emotions especially when gaslighting continues right. I can deal with what I see as illogical tasks but added on with gaslighting?! SCREW YOUUUU SCREW YOUUU I tried to use the questions of what is good, true and beautiful to focus myself on the positive... seriously some days I feel so weary trying to make the best and see the best in this place. It feels so unproductive needing to manage my emotions and negative ...

 Logging in a tangible realisation of prayer tonight after I got back from the Geylang Ministry dinner.  God, You have been so faithful and kind to me.. I want to remember what a privilege it is to serve You together with my brothers and sisters that You have called into one family.  I had a prayer when I was in HK and I see now that it was a subconscious thing I was looking for- to work in an area where the marginalised are reached within a community. I kind of had that in HK but here in GM, I felt so cared for even as I served. Really inspired by Debbie and Kelvin's heart, and the various others whom I felt safe with even though I just met them for the first time. Somehow there is that camaraderie with these people who chose to commit their time and energy to reaching Geylang.  There will be struggle and even disillusionment, but Lord, I pray that I will remember this. Even to carry this spirit of love and service similarly if I am in that sphere of influence....

into this thing called married life.  I wonder how I am gonna maintain general hygiene, do well at work, keep in touch with friends, visit family regularly (4 parents now.. quite terrible but I'm kinda thankful I don't have another set of grandparents), have quiet reflective time with God, keep up with ministry stuffs, and be intentional about God's calling for me in missions.  The last bit is the one that I feel more strongly in recent times while the skeptical side of me says its just because its Mission month in church. But I've always known since I became a Christian that I am moved to see people from least reached peoples come to know Christ, I just don't know how this translates to action. Especially now that I feel more keenly that I am not my own- yet may that remind me of a higher calling: "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (1 Cor 6:19b-20); and "I am under obligation both to Greeks and to b...

短短5分钟，要感谢的人太多了 I'm between you and lunch so I'll keep it fast. 阿爸阿妈，做你们的孩子，我很喜欢 在婆婆家和哥哥表姐弟妹长大也和喜欢 小时牵过的手， 如今老了  手上的皱纹深深浅浅  那是岁月的痕迹  却依然温暖如初   诗人写的，我中文没那么流利---  adapted from《父亲的手》 by Bei Dao (北岛) My new parents, thank you for welcoming me into your home my new brothers, for your background support through the years My spiritual family 属灵的家庭 now spread across at least two cities, and more in the future Thank you, thank you for all gathering here and online today Young and older Friends who have known me for close a decade or more, Amazing how we kept in touch despite what life had in store Meninas bonitas we finally reunite! and 隔岸的 dai lou Thank you for the thousand miles or more in our friendship Year 1 serious awkward me  Was blessed with warm-hearted funny weird peeps 社工系的 VCF 的， 大 4 Exco and Honours class 一起努力 Was one of the best times of my life  Coming close, the Lakeside youth team So many unglam photos with and of you people Blessed that work th...