chronicles of young

Actually I'm just like what the shit... allow me to rant for awhile and let out the negativity.  Was gonna post an IG story on Close Friends but realised I didn't really want to talk about stuff should anyone reply so putting it here for an almost-imaginary or future audience (hopefully me in the future feeling much better). I really have not 释怀 and believe me, I've tried. Daily, many times a day, especially after talking with boss.  Last month I was on the track of I will just buckle down and finish my KRAs, and for awhile it worked but how long can I suppress my emotions especially when gaslighting continues right. I can deal with what I see as illogical tasks but added on with gaslighting?! SCREW YOUUUU SCREW YOUUU I tried to use the questions of what is good, true and beautiful to focus myself on the positive... seriously some days I feel so weary trying to make the best and see the best in this place. It feels so unproductive needing to manage my emotions and negative ...

"I hold all things loosely" has been a kind of new running joke ever since I used that phrase as a snarky comeback for being rightfully jibed for refusing to do an important work process. (Please do not learn this from me, it is not acceptable I admit. I am impulsively stubborn too, I admit.) There is definitely value in holding your job loosely though- probably why I score low on ambition in this work behaviour survey that I did for a professional development course. I feel like my 'ambition' is not the ambition as in wanting to progress in career goals (which I don't think I have if you are talking about the conventional sense of the term). Still, there are things to hold loosely and things to hold tightly. I had the thought to blog this morning when I got the goosebumps recalled what happened during VCF AGM this Monday. It struck me as very beautiful that the person was given the platform to make his speech via video, and that he shared his mental he...

(Okay I must qualify that today isn't a so-called typical day , but seriously, seems like nothing is typical as a social worker) What I did today that really surprised me- Right at the top place : Dissembling the clogged toilet sink and pulling on years-worth of muck and hair. I literally crowed when after seriously being stumped on just how to put back all these parts, we managed by sheer force and equal willpower to stick everything back in place.  Coming in second : Counseling a distraught grandmother of my youth client over the phone for 1 hour, and giving actual counsel. We had a 1 hour call yesterday too. I am surprised at many things for this one actually- (a) Me asking point blank up front about whether symptoms of depression were observed (b) How calm and emotionally unaffected I was, even as I reflected her emotions which elicited more ventilation of these long pent-up issues (c) Being able to somehow counsel in Chinese A close third : Gettin...