chronicles of young

Inspired by watching Tam Wai Jia's reels- honestly really inspired and also a little envious. Kind of like 'having it all', but I know I am just focusing on the processed pieces that she shared and not the sufferings/trials she had been through to arrive at these pieces. The truth is, God has also given me pearls that are used to bless others and glorify Him through my life experiences. I felt a quiet welling of tears when I took in the reels about how she processed with her children. And her reminding that if we didn't have this safe emotional space as a kid, we can heal and change the pattern 💛 Providentially, I had also been thinking about my inner child since an IG post about it .   So even though its work hours, I want to give myself the time and space to write things down to process. Knowing that I have mostly followed the pattern of pushing past my emotions to achieve goals, after which I may lose passion or sight of what I really want. (Thinking back on my...

( Writing this the morning after caffeine-induced high at night; I don't doubt that God also used last night to speak into my life ) Those verses came to mind as I was praying for Mongolia, which led me to pray for the different ethnos as well. And I was suddenly filled with that deep longing and a deep sense of vision, as I envisioned awesome sights of each unique ethnos bringing gifts that reflect their culture and God's glory into the city of God. I think this is the source of my attraction to tribes and cultures different from my own. That first encounter with Mongolia awakened that sometimes troubling attraction. Is it just wanderlust and the desire to be 'free', or romanticised attraction?  This morning, it hit me that I was going into another city, with its different people groups. How can I work for the shalom of this city? Where the fruits of nature are fruitfully employed, and there is universal (mutual) flourishing, wholeness. 1 I don't know...

"Inilah perkerjaan yang dikehendaki Allah iaitu supaya kamu percaya kepada Dia yang diutus-Nya." Yahya 6:29 Started off 2019 sick (from the 2 back-to-back camps in the last week of 2018), and unsure of where I'm heading in life for the new year. Of course, one can say that years, weeks and months are human constructs. I believe God has given us the gift of different seasons so that we can be refreshed and renewed- in vision and direction. This can be seen in nature anyway. The picture above is going to be an anchor for 2019- to follow Jesus in saying "I do nothing of my own will, but do the will of the Father." (John 6:38) I sense this year is going to have quite a bit of sacrifices- was that why God spoke much more clearly?- and yet, there is excitement and anticipation in this apprehension.

The best kind of holiday is the one that allows you to reflect and be refreshed, and that was exactly what the Jogja trip did for me. Significantly, I think I had the conclusion to the prayer requests I asked of my colleagues for a few months at morning devotions (I admit I hadn't been very faithful in praying by myself- value of community experienced). The main tension/question experienced in the transition from student to professional was: Am I doing enough for the kingdom of God? Well I do think it's fallacious to say that this will be the tension one faces in transiting to work because this tension is supposed to stay throughout our lives as we seek greater love. Two threads of thoughts (trying to be more organised here) culminated from thinking during the long car rides and that 3 hours alone together with my 2 dear INFJ friends: God demands much of us, mortal man made in His very image. To be like Christ is an uncompromising perfect standard, yet fitting for a...

Having been a social worker for just close to 2 months, I must first apologise in advance if I make it seem as though I have passed a judgment or sound very coldly cognitive. My peers' very raw experiences of witnessing family violence, together with the Rohingya crisis, stir up visceral emotions of anger, horror and helplessness. Of which, I am quite sure, a few degrees removed I am sure. This week during supervision I was confronted with the fact that I have been engaging the youths I am supposed to counsel in a more cognitive way, when the root of the issue are heart matters like belonging to a family, trust, and feeling loved. "What is happening to you in the counseling room as your client shares this?"  Social work is a spiritual journey, I am sure of it. We, or I, must confront the questions pertaining to God so as to forge ahead more boldly with the people we work with. A lot of these questions start with 'Why'? Ecclesiastes reminded me again of ho...

"The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives." Proverbs 27:21 Don't you find it interesting that the testing is 'praise' and not fiery trials?  Constantly amazed at how the Word upends our notions and challenges beliefs so ingrained in us: of what it means to be blessed (Matt 5:3-11), of who is wise in God's eyes (1 Cor 2:6-10), our favoritism and who is blessed by our Father (James 2:1-5). You see the depths of our hearts and You love us the same. In this age of post-truth, Your Word ever challenges the social norms and what we take for as "business as usual".

In more ways than one, God spoke to me through my GP. I had put off going to the doc's but well I really need to be well by Monday. Somehow I have a slight mistrust of doctors, after a bad encounter at the hospital with my Granny's doctor and knowing that GP clinics are basically a business. Perhaps also from researching about healthcare for my thesis and stories from MSW friends. I also hate waiting in clinics or bureaucratic offices. To me the feeling of waiting to be processed is quite disempowering. Yet, unpleasant as the waits are they are good because they remind me of how social service users have these waits in higher frequency, and much longer duration. And then I had a seat which was great because I had brought my Bible to read. Quiet space is intentionally created and there in the clinic, truths were again spoken over me, echoing down the ages as I read the words (2 Corintians 9:6-15). The most divine part was the conversation with Dr Gloria, who challenged m...

Of grief and joy. "By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion." Psalm 137:1 NIV "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1‭-‬5 NIV 功夫不深,不过画的满开心的。 可以以画代字, 也是一种祝福。 One of my favorite hymns with added bridge.

"the day of small things" Zech 4:10 As I stalk myself (reading past posts and flipping through my journal) and reflecting on the Word during QT I realised that something that keeps coming up throughout this semester so far is- Small things in the lives of individuals are weaved together into a beautiful narrative that is also in the Bible, of creation to new creation. How is God telling me to respond? As I do more fun stuff in the next few weeks- exam blessings, thesis (yeaa I guess its fun) and project work, I haven't really had the time to sit down and reflect/pray/think. Have to really think about my future professional trajectory now- literally forced to. SunRay Scheme and PhD in Hong Kong (?!). Both of which I initially viewed with trepidation and don't really want to think about. But these are really great opportunities and I should appreciate them as such. So thank God. If anything, I can trust in His providence, shown so tangibly this week thus...

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3 ""But sir, " Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian." The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?"" Judges 6:13-14