chronicles of young

Part I  "Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" (2 Cor 6:10) A verse that came to mind these recent days. From one understanding to another understanding, I believe I am growing to see and embrace what it means. Even though it is my weak fleshly state that causes me to sorrow at times, or not rejoice or be sorrowful at other times. Yet by God's grace, from understanding to understanding.  You have surely bottled up our tears, Lord. Why would You delight in us, even our tinged attempts to pursue good? Only because You are good, and Your steadfast love is indeed better than life.  In the small moments of providence, Your love shines through.. You are very cool indeed, God. This seemingly random pic of the tissue provided at Penny's is an example. I was angry and upset, but You reminded and stirred up my affectionate side through this. And in that split moment, I felt like I could forgive all things, bear all things, be willing to lay down myself. And that joy in it.  Part II...

 "As you read this, I hope you will understand that when I speak of the long night that preceded these days of my happiness, I do not remember grief and loneliness as much as I do peace and comfort -- grief, but never without comfort; loneliness, but never without peace. Almost never."       --- Marilynne Robinson in Gilead Trigger warning: Talk about world events beyond individual control. Skip to after photo if it might be too much :> *** As I begin to write, I am wondering if it is the case that the world just got so much more strife and violence, or that I have merely just 'grown up' to care more and feel more responsible now that I have so much more resources at my disposal compared to when I was a child?  The crises in Yemen and South Sudan which feel like they have become an accepted normal... to the military coup in Myanmar, and now the Taleban takeover in Afghanistan. Instagram is an incongruent source of news, because I follow climate/environme...

"O GOD, I bless thee for the happy moment when I first saw    thy law fulfilled in Christ,    wrath appeased,    death destroyed,    sin forgiven,    my soul saved. Ever since, thou hast been faithful to me;    daily have i proved the power of Jesus' blood,    daily have I known the strength of the Spirit,         my teacher, director, sanctifier. I want no other rock to build upon than that I have,    desire no other hope than that of gospel truth,    need no other look than that which gazes on the cross. Forgive me if I have tried to add anything to the one foundation,                    if I have unconsciously relied upon my knowledge,                          experience, deeds and not seen them as filthy rags,           ...

Eid al-Fitr 2018 first saw me joining the throngs of Malay families and young couples milling around the Geylang Serai bazaar. Artery-clogging char kuay sotong But I actually liked the walk from Paya Lebar MRT to the bazaar more than the bazaar itself; trailing behind the 2 Malay families with their young energetic children made me somehow very happy: "Ikan! Ikan!" the cherubic younger sister squealed as she leaned as far as she could against the railing. At her Nenek's chiding "Payar!", her abang pulled her away, and they jogged along, abang's hand holding his sister's. Then, blessed koinonia at GBG Oikos: The last iftar for 2018- when walking down the whole stretch of Geylang Road The best lontong everrrr Friday: Chocolate- drizzled Custard Creams sans cream- biskuit Raya style. Then we stuffed ourselves with popiah and Chinese tea for lunch/tea. The porcelain remind me of how my parents bring us on overseas tr...

Words: Michael Perry, sung to the tune of THAXTED "O God beyond all praising, we worship you today and sing the love amazing that songs cannot repay; for we can only wonder at every gift you send, at blessings without number and mercies without end. We lift our hearts before you and wait upon your Word, we honor and adore you, our great and mighty Lord. The flower of earthly splendor in time must surely die, its fragile bloom surrender to you, the Lord most high; but hidden from all nature the eternal seed is sown - though small in mortal stature, to heaven's garden grown: for Christ, your gift from heaven, from death has set us free, and we through him are given the final victory. Then hear, O gracious Savior, accept the love we bring, that we who know your favor may serve you as our King; and whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill, we'll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still: to marvel at your beauty and gl...

And soon did I set out to procure the book, and now I have finished it. It does feel like a few grand themes in my life are coming together- all of a sudden at times, and then so slow it makes me jumpy the other. I know it is a dangerous thing to say, especially regarding that which I hold cherished. And so with veiled words and a weak attempt at eloquence: Pi, you have guessed it, A mystery known and yet not. But hush, don't be excited, The main character is not him. Simple Psyche with that meek beauty, Or Orual (her name I turn over in my lips more than Psyche) the embittered, Fox with his wise Greek sayings, And the gods who did not answer till Orual got her answer in her complaint. But no these are far from the main character, Whom we (I) fail describing and have failed. The story is now mine (and yours?), With He who made Orual a Psyche. Thus my resolve, After which a realisation. Till I have been cruel of heart (in the words of Orual still with veiled fac...

I was still toying with the idea of taking my brother's bike out for an adventure while on the way back from hiking with the parents. The next morning when I woke up it occurred to me that I had already cycled around Hainan (on the main roads with the cars/motorbikes!). That sealed it, I'm going! This time, parents were duly informed (though not of the plan to cycle till Pandan Reservoir; didn't know I could make it that far too). I'm a naughty kid I know. What I really wanted to say was, how enjoyable it was to cycle with the rain beating down on my skin. I was thoroughly drenched after 1/3 of my first leg up to Chinese Garden. I felt really carefree. Though there was the saddle pain. Felt it keenly when cycling through the pouring rain along the straight canal path with my thighs feeling like they were gonna fail me. Less so, but felt it when admiring the post-rain glistening Jurong lake and pine trees (?). Saddle pain in Macs when basking in the post accom...

Hoan Kiem Lake Hari ini Jumaat Baik. What a strange sounding translation of Good Friday. It is also strange that I am in Hanoi instead of Good Friday service. Listening to the intermittent honks from the traffic below our hotel and watching the sunlight slowly suffuse the 'therapeutic' room as Jas described. Dua kawan-kawan aku masih nyenyak tidur, seperti semua baik di bumi. Good Friday meningkatkan aku tentang Yesus Kristos terseksa di Calvary. Thinking about it I realised that sufferings and sorrows are often reflected back to joy, in the Lord. Joy of a deeper kind, leaning on the full weight of assurance in a heartrendingly glorious eternity with our Creator. Manusia kesengsaraan... Let my heart be broken but not despair. I have come to see happiness with a tinge of sorrow, like the people sleeping in the streets even as I was really happy to be exploring places with my dear friends (I counted four in the short 2 hours we were out yesterday). And on ...

And so. After exactly 24h from when I woke up yesterday, the work is done. Father, You have been so gracious to grant me the desires of my heart. When I have not always delighted myself in You. But still, You have given me such clarity of purpose, such strength, drive, such anointing of the Holy Spirit this semester. I guess that's why, in light of all these, 我要为自己别无所求. 不是不在乎，而是只要从神父手中领取. I am thankful: "Thesis is an individual research journey but I am triply blessed in this journey. My first supervisor, Dr Marcus Chiu, taught me to think more critically and pushed me to look beyond the superficial questions. What I'd thought was a straightforward research question became a conceptually fundamental one about human perception and behaviour. My second supervisor, Dr Choo Hyekeung, was ever so patient with my unprecise fluff and I owe much of my quantitative thinking and SPSS skills to her. I am also indebted to Mr Mohamed Naser, who made the research so much smoother and ea...

Ayeeee. It has been an eventful day. Actually I was in NUS the whole day like a boring but the conversations over WA/email were anything but. Of thankfulness, flipped back to the start of my current journal this morning and amazed at God's faithfulness in these short few months since December. Talking to my SW/life mentor about the upcoming lunchtime talk, about ministry in PGP, meeting Dr Calvin, even help from a senior for the policy project. He has blessed me with such wonderfully made people :') Of grief (and hope), a dear friend's uncle's passing. Reminded of my own aunt, my grandma too. Of joy and adventure. I just booked the ticket to Hanoi today whoop. To visit Hagar , an international NGO that engages with sex trafficking issues. Afterward I reflected, I actually haven't given much thought into this. Impulsive impulsive me I guess reframing you can say it is a kind of gung ho-ness but let me not get ahead of God. Of satisfaction, at the day's...

I never really liked Joy from Inside Out, as perky as she was all the time. Maybe precisely because she is perky no matter what. Having to do a programme with Inside Out as the theme, I had analyse and rewatch the movie scenes. The identification sometimes hit too close. The part where Riley finds that things between Meg and her have changed, where Goofy Island crumbled, where Friendship Island crumbled. It was quite ironic, because a main part of the programme was teaching the siblings of special needs children to think positively. Thoughts,feelings and behaviours are interconnected and affect each other. I can choose to think positive thoughts which can change the way I feel about a situation. And there I was, like Riley. Where is the joy? It was a daily question I had to consciously answer when I woke up in the morning. An almost-bitter chew but left a sweet aftertaste that lasted. This (short, now that I reflect on hindsight) period of wretchedness is good for me. I don't know ...

" To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is!" Proverbs 15:23 (ESV) Sidewalk Gallery Cafe, 1 Orchard Rd And the joy of leadership is in speaking into people's lives at the right time, making wise decisions. All glory be to God alone. Amen. It's a joy to serve with these people :) Especially with my fellow brothers and sisters in VCF. "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 Praise be to the Father for also providing friends that speak wisdom into my life.