chronicles of young

One benefit of being a student is that your time is sectioned nicely into semesters, and I am now midway into my final one in NUS. Kisah ada pahit, ada manis, tapi Tuhan membuat segala sesuatu indah pada waktunya (Pengkhotbah 3:11, TB). Wrapping up this week with intentional quiet reflection and self-examination. Our gracious God has reminded me about the 3 resolutions I had for 2017 . A broken hallelujah to You, my King. To be honest, when my uncle began his series of text messages that was sending the implicit message of me not caring enough for my family, I was (1) frustrated (2) indignant (3) prideful and resistant (4) almost hateful. I was like: What more do you want?! What more do you want from me, God? And, who are you to tell me what to do, can't you see I am doing good work? Aren't I already making the effort? (Doesn't help that I was already feeling quite shaken from something else and that uncle was being indirect) Even now I find it difficult to reply ...

一个美好的早晨。吃着慢煎糕 （因为昨天在美食节目上看到厦门的慢煎糕好好吃）。我告诉妈妈，和表妹因为婆婆开始的Google 照片文件夹，有一张大姨的照片，照得好像模特儿，好美。妈妈说，你跟她讲，以后一定买好吃的给你吃。（哈哈我在爸妈眼里一直还是贪吃鬼） 过后我说，要找一个适合的旅行，不用走太多路，但也不是很轻松，带婆婆去。  妈妈就说，带她去越南咯！爸爸插进一句：她哪都想去，要你们带她去。  啊，不懂婆婆有没有跟你讲，以前有个邻居，现在中了Parkinson's，婆婆去看她，一直流眼泪，好心痛。她的手指鸡爪一样，虽然脑袋清醒可是不能动。我就跟她说咯，不要懒惰，现在可以走的时候就不要一直呆在家里。  这个阿婶是有读书的，是她们当中的 leader 这样。 记得以前折报纸做纸袋, 以前哪里有plastic bag! 还有那些喝水的袋子，那些绳子都是手工串，绑的，现在都是机器 liao。100 个，两毛钱，补贴家用。我们还是比其他孩子幸运的啦，婆婆没有叫我们一定要做，喜欢做就做一下，没有说要在家里不可以出门。 哇，还有以前都是一块儿的，有个卖lor mai gaai 的，不知道她的名就叫她 lor mai gaai 阿姨。新年的时候，有一个邻居做kueh bangkit, 就会招我们：来啊来啊！以后久了就像一个commitment 了，每次都帮她。就在家门口烧炭，现在做这样，一定 tio complain! 她新年就一定会买一件新衣上门。 Ah Leng Ah Peng 的爸爸她们小时候就带到婆婆那边，拜拜就上班了。公公在家的时候就会带她们去kindergarten，会买吃的给她们，所以也是跟公公很亲。  哦，公公也是每次买东西给我吃。公公说的，卖烧肉的，说这个baby 很可爱，就切烧肉给你吃。你这个贪吃的就吃了。  好啦，快点喝完一起洗，不要浪费水。

Just wanted to remember today though I am super tired having been up for almost 19.5h since 6am. I am particularly thankful for Thursday Year 4s prayer gathering today- it was my turn to share which I forgot, but I did an impromptu one. Felt like I should share on koinonia (fellowship/community), and how we as a community of love and acceptance show Christ. And how we have not, instead being insular. And also, for Plumb. I think it is one of the best since my first Plumb with super nurturing Maria? I had this idea for reading a book about faith (apologetics, pastoral, whatever), and share with the Plumb. Super happy when people want to borrow my books to read. IFG topical was good also, reminded of how I take myself too seriously- in the sense of guarding my 'reputation'. Of which, really, is there really a reputation I should be cultivating? The sharings afterward were precious as well- people so different from us whom we are trying to love wholeheartedly with God'...

It's the 4am epiphany again. I am very glad that this time it was for Glory Presbyterian Church. Pretty sure my proposal will be taken favorably, excited to see what happens. Thank you, Father, You have let me do what I wanted to do. On more trivial things, I discovered another time capsule while searching for those One Piece name stickers I got made eons ago (don't know why I suddenly got reminded of their existence). Introspection is my nature, I am sure of that now.  The closest reason is (2) it was really a pleasant surprise. Jolted my memories of a more awkward Kang back in Secondary 2, still needy for friends' affirmations, trying to fit into the cool kids gang. Those were the days of Neoprints, junk food at JEC, altercations with people (including once with Newtown Secondary kids lol).   I really thank God for preserving me. Not only that, He has added so much to me such that my 'priorities' have been fulfilled, even though He was way ...

In all honesty I remembered being quite sian during the ExCo meeting when they decided that I should be the ex-officio for the freshmen orientation camp. At that point I was like gah, I need to go attend all their meetings and stuff. Today's QT reading really spoke to me- king Hezekiah's prayer after his illness and recovery in Isaiah 38. The themes of God not answering when you cry out, God being the one who afflicts, God working in ways so contrary to who He says He is, and a man's anguish at all this. "I waited patiently till dawn, but like a lion he broke all my bones; day and night you made an end of me" (v13) "But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and he himself has done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul. Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too." (v15-16a) "Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish" (v17a) There was a breakthrough during this c...

This moment I am getting the feels listening to Vivian Chan's song, sitting in a mess of a room. The room is snug especially with Bex's quiet and strong presence near me. My hair is wet and I catch whiffs of my shampoo as I type- every time I finish bathing I thank God because the feeling of having hot water after coming in from the cold is just awesome. The mattress that I am sitting on is so cosy and makes coming in to sleep each night pleasant. Especially after a night of talking with these dear brothers and sisters here- these lovely beautiful people with all their quirks and flaws, whom I have been learning so much from. Today was like sunshine. My morning time with the Bible was more fruitful than the previous days, and during the time of prayer subsequently, I was actually dialoguing with God rather than being distracted by other people praying. During lesson time I was cooking seasame oil chicken and stir-frying xiao bai cai for lunch as a representation of Sing...