chronicles of young

台中 在未来某个灰暗的一天，希望回想这几天好牧人的带领照顾 不盼望挫折但也知道 “你的国降临” 这个祷告大部分是由信徒的心酸而应许的 :')

Today is day 3 of the SWSD conference and my mind is one swirl of new concepts, ideas and ideals. So I'm going to hold my horse on it (haha can it even be used like that never mind lah hor I am proud of my Singlish). I was in the Isle of Man alone yes, but contrary to what image friends might be having in their minds when they say I am on a solo trip- I have been far from going at it alone. I needed others so much. The kindness and warmth of another person- there was this gentleman who walked me to the railway station, or especially the smiles/short exchanges with passer-bys. They were as important as the sun and glimmering sea. So yeah. In a small way through my reflections I want to foster a culture of community, of vulnerability (which requires humility, which actually needs courage). So the thing I most want to get out there is how much insecurities I have, even though I am at this place where some people look up to me and think how confident I am. Throwback to GoFort...

Currently typing this on phone as I head out of NUS for the last time as a (graduated) student. Went back to drop off the Honours Room key and my heart feels like it wants to linger. I look and finger the key a final time, and tell myself: This season has ended. And with that, the clang of the key and I walked away, no turning back. Walking down the stairs I've climbed countless times (almost always in haste), I reflected that perhaps in this journey, I'll always be discovering that the next season is a more true calling/place I should be. And the previous one is there to prepare me for the next. My heart was screaming for time to stop as the HK exchange ended, and the first few months back were terrible. Yet that season of my life, which has just ended, has been one of the best. (Ha ha ha, guess what, I think I've said that for the other past seasons too). What a beautiful adventure You have called us to, Lord. Joys and trials unimaginable, You show us who ...

Have humans always been enthralled by high places? The Tibetans build their temples in the mountains to be closer to the heavens above. Today we trailed behind on the overwhelming kindness and generosity of a Vietnamese family as they ascended up the steep trail in Ba Vi National Park to worship at the shrine. We had the privilege to be privy to this ritual for some special day. Looking at the offerings of money. fragrant branches, a whole chicken... and then their lips moving silently as they knelt before the shrine. What are they praying for, I wonder. How do they see themselves in relation to the gods they are praying to? It was in that high fog-filled place that we had received so much grace freely given. We were so warmly welcomed into their fold, beckoned into the temple to see, invited (many many times) to eat their food, ushered up their van. At one point I remembered thinking: This is also a kind of shalom. This short trip to Hanoi has really brought us to high places...

It's the 4am epiphany again. I am very glad that this time it was for Glory Presbyterian Church. Pretty sure my proposal will be taken favorably, excited to see what happens. Thank you, Father, You have let me do what I wanted to do. On more trivial things, I discovered another time capsule while searching for those One Piece name stickers I got made eons ago (don't know why I suddenly got reminded of their existence). Introspection is my nature, I am sure of that now.  The closest reason is (2) it was really a pleasant surprise. Jolted my memories of a more awkward Kang back in Secondary 2, still needy for friends' affirmations, trying to fit into the cool kids gang. Those were the days of Neoprints, junk food at JEC, altercations with people (including once with Newtown Secondary kids lol).   I really thank God for preserving me. Not only that, He has added so much to me such that my 'priorities' have been fulfilled, even though He was way ...

Jaslyn started taking selfies when she was backpacking solo across Europe during her student exchange in Amsterdam. The permutations of facial expressions were endless against the backgrounds of cathedrals, stunning lakes and quaint buildings. She also developed the habit of scrolling through her photo album, staring into her face and figuring out what exactly she was thinking or feeling when she took that selfie. Jaslyn became quite obsessed with this activity, trying to figure herself out through those selfies. Surely those solo travels are a process of self-discovery, and the beautiful sights inspire a kind of beauty? Yet the closer she stared at those selfies, the more strange she felt to herself. It was the same when she put her face close to the mirror till even the carefully concealed blemishes became apparent. There was this prickly discomfort the more she did so, and that made her try even harder to get that perfect selfie. innisfree, Etude House, Majolica Majorca. Jas...

In the Altai Mountains, Bayan-Ulgii, Mongolia I don't know why, these past 2 weeks have been filled with so much emotional thinking, which translated to a compulsion to create content. The mountains. There is a felt heartache as I look at pictures of them. I long to be in the mountains again. Why though, I was asking myself. I am a city girl who failed her physical fitness test because she lacked the stamina to complete the 2.4km run. But the mountains, they stir in me a sense of quiet, almost-sad joy and a feeling of connectedness. In the mountains, I find that I rather be alone or not talk. There is a sense of theophany perhaps. Shepherding the yaks In my second time in Mongolia, I hiked through the forest of trees and settled on a plateau. There are no photos of the mountains I saw because I had intentionally left my handphone behind. I sat there, alone, for maybe a hour. Just singing hymns, gazing out at the mountains and letting my heart be filled. So so tha...

This was typed during the family trip to Hokkaido; felt like I should just publish it without too much editing-  The petty squabble Articulation of my innermost thoughts that I kept almost hidden from myself. self-righteously judging these people but only realising that I agreed when these thoughts were verbalised. The lone ladies in pink jackets waiting by the roadside. The chiselled figures in tight fitting pants at the tourist spot. The two ladies with their bunny tops Old legs can't walk Caught in between mother and daughter Can a mother and daughter not be able to spend even 5 minutes together? What happened between them I wonder. Hardness of mouth, hearts not seeing the concern behind the scolding words. No country for old men (and women). Thankful for the jacket against the cold wind. Thankful for the pat on the back. The chocolates (but somehow I feel bad taking them because I feel like I deserved it) Thank God for heart and eyes- that break and tender be ...

"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap." Luke 21:34 Having purely pleasurable days like can also be good for the soul. But I put that verse from my quiet time yesterday as a reminder- especially not to let my heart be weighed down with dissipation; those needless thinking. It was really a fun day out food hunting- Sharetea taro milk because I had intense craves, chocolate chip egg waffles, egg custard 烧饼, 猪扒菠萝包- that alone for lunch. And then Hong Kong style zi char for dinner with traditional dessert after that. Walked around the Sham Shui Po area which I am not exaggerating when I say it has EVERYTHING. Clothes, shoes, textiles, even industrial-kind drilling machines in assorted colours. The best part was exploring the bead shops in Yu Chau Street and ribbon shops in Nam Cheong Street. The rows upon rows of beads and ribbons unlock t...

Funny how one of the most defining ways I conceptualise myself was concretised by a question posed while I was waiting groggily for a flight in Beijing airport. "Kang is like a cat. The sociable kind who seeks company but happy wandering alone too. Grounded by soul-refreshing relationships with God and friends, she is not afraid to do things (most of the time).  Don't fully know what is inside (not fish) but Kang knows that she is Kang as cats know that they can just be cats and not dogs though people compare the two." Now Cat is restless, seeking company. From a specific person. And it kinda sucks because at a deeper level that takes x 10000 more effort to summon, she knows that it is not him she seeks but something else. That temptation is almost too hard to bear. Almost. "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also pro...

How am I different now from the Kang in Singapore? Fresh from the trip of a lifetime in Mongolia and intentionally being still and think this chilly Sunday, I might have an answer. That is to laugh.  To let myself laugh, in spite of everything that has happen, is happening and will happen.  Was generally a serious kid and then I got into social work which I love. But guess because of this tender heart, the judging area of my frontal lobe worked harder while my jovial side of the brain was intentionally unstimulated. A model I'd emulate is the leadership in Island Baptist Church. There are pressing ministry needs, trouble, and perplexity. Yet each Sunday in church I was sure to have a few good laughs- they could find always find something to laugh at. To laugh at myself. Simple as that. To laugh unabashedly. Guess I am hesitant to really laugh because it is an open expression which makes me feel vulnerable sometimes. But I observed that this true laugh...

Think my first week here has been defined by buses. Starting with 970X which landed me at the picturesque West Kowloon Waterfront Promenade when kiasu me intended to head to school the day I touched down to register.  After that it was a string of mini buses, cross-harbour buses, city buses that I hopped on and off without thinking too much until I realised how expensive they were :o  970 is my favorite bus so far. Brings me to school and back, brings me to Inner City Ministries, comes pretty fast. I had a good time with the ICM staff and the Nepalese children yesterday. Would have been better my nose weren't running and head wasn't so leaden that I was almost impatient with those boisterous kids. So thankful to see 'real-action'. I guess every ministry, from prayer to running Sunday School for Christian kids to engaging a marginalised community is real action.  Whether its the naughty Doldo at Kids' Club or the shy Ruth at Sunday School, the change i...

"Whoa no pre trip??" A response that I got when I told my fellow HKU exchange kids that I will be arriving, now that I checked the semester dates properly, on the very day school officially starts (praying I don't have Monday classes). Though I don't really like the term 'pre trip'. Makes me think of the psychedelic experience you get with LSD trips- where a distorted reality is better than the here-and-now. Just because I am in a foreign land doesn't mean that I can care less about justice, suffering, the gospel- which is the reality. But to be honest, I think I grappled a bit with FOMO- I must go to Mongolia I resolved, roughing it out myself no less because it will really be pretty cool. Impulsive, naive me was annoyed at the concerns of my parents and friends when I told them about Mongolia. I see pictures on Instagram of beautiful portraits in beautiful places, and compare these places to Hong Kong. My pre trip thus far consists of meeting fr...