chronicles of young

 Coming back to CoY (288 posts over about 15 years!), I just realised that this platform has taken me through my pimply adolescence through to arrive at adulthood. Where there is a growing realisation and acceptance that life is probably always gonna be tough and God has meant for that on this side of heaven.  I feel now though, an immense gratitude at how life turned out for me. Though the Author's pen is continuing to write the narrative, the chapters that have unfolded so far and how the story is (seems to be) going has me looking forward to the future.  My cup has the verse: "She looks forward to the future with joy." (Proverbs 31:25) The verse comes from the well-known passage on the "virtuous wife", but is more about the beauty of Wisdom.  I'm reflecting on a nudge to welcome another one to live in our home. That as I have called it Meno, to abide , as a vision for our home, that those who need nurturing and to be fed by God can come. It challenges my ...

What a blessing to be able to hold all things loosely, even my very life. Though of course as stoic/ faith-full as I seem, doubts and lingering fears will probably stay with me throughout my life. Am I fully convinced of my eternal glorious life in heaven? Honestly, no. Yet I have enough faith and experience with God to know that Abba Father will bring me home, by grace. Thinking about death more recently as I prepare heart and mind to head to Nagaland. There is a risk to every adventure undertaken with God, yet how fun and joyful each one is with the Spirit's leading :) Putting this hymn here as a reminder- the trip will be definitely challenging and stretch my patience, love and everything nice (LOL). Yet God remains our common vision and on this foundation we stand together. Heart of my heart, whatever befall, still be my vision O Ruler of all. \\ What if I really die? Be still, child. I the LORD will bring you home and take care of the things back here.

"Inilah perkerjaan yang dikehendaki Allah iaitu supaya kamu percaya kepada Dia yang diutus-Nya." Yahya 6:29 Started off 2019 sick (from the 2 back-to-back camps in the last week of 2018), and unsure of where I'm heading in life for the new year. Of course, one can say that years, weeks and months are human constructs. I believe God has given us the gift of different seasons so that we can be refreshed and renewed- in vision and direction. This can be seen in nature anyway. The picture above is going to be an anchor for 2019- to follow Jesus in saying "I do nothing of my own will, but do the will of the Father." (John 6:38) I sense this year is going to have quite a bit of sacrifices- was that why God spoke much more clearly?- and yet, there is excitement and anticipation in this apprehension.

News of the Rakhine being stuck in no-man's land between border guards and the Myanmese army made me want to know where this border is exactly. Sometimes the amount of bad news from the same places everyday makes things feel 'standard'. But no, part of our battle for the truth is that each piece of such news belies the lives of eternal souls. These souls have history of rich experiences, they can be so resilient, yet I can't ever imagine the trauma and its after-effects on them. I was looking at those borders between the nations. Looking at the map, I understood better why Italy and France have so many Libya and Algeria refugees. Borders are a de facto part of the world. We don't really question the fundamental anxiety that's driving each country to protect its borders, do we? I am part of the anxiety. Let the refugees in, and there will bound to be societal changes. Let the foreign workers come, but they are only acceptable if they meet our sector need...

And with the last day of Project Masterpiece for the commencement ceremonies tomorrow, this chapter in NUS is really really coming to an end. These past few (crazy busy and blessed) days where I have been traversing familiar places in school, the memories attached to those places put a smile on my face as I recount my blessings. Perhaps it is only as we look back that we see, how beautiful the journey has been. But I have been immensely blessed to already know how blessed I am throughout university- because I have a clear vision and purpose for what I hope to do in NUS and where I want to be. With my own commencement this Monday night, graduation suddenly becomes official (I have made a clear promise to myself not to take advantage of student card discounts anymore), which also means the imminence of work. I was reminded of it just now and I almost couldn't bear to think of how my life will be so drastically changed. Will I be jaded and cease to believe in why I started on the...

Maybe I write this post as a mini self rebuke, maybe an act of subtle self-glorification. "A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fools' eyes wander to the ends of the earth." Proverbs 17:24 Feels like straight in the heart rebuke when I read it this morning.  Dear Mum and Dad, family and friends: I am both sorry and not sorry. Which in effect is not sorry at all. And I am, in my better self, sorry for that. Sorry that I don't really care about the great mess in my room nor the fact that I probably lost my identity card. It really doesn't matter at the end of it, like I said to the utter dismay of my friends in response to the possibility of missing our flight back to Singapore.  After awhile, it kinda sucks being seen as crazy/foolish/needing to be restrained. Of course, there is truth in it. (No, I shall not be tempted into emotional pride and feel like it's me against the world) Yet I hope that some of this other-worldliness is a v...

Of grief and joy. "By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion." Psalm 137:1 NIV "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1‭-‬5 NIV 功夫不深,不过画的满开心的。 可以以画代字, 也是一种祝福。 One of my favorite hymns with added bridge.

Oh dear I shouldn't have started on this have to leave within 6 minutes. But I just cannot help but express myself. The movie was breathtakingly beautiful, every single moment of it. My favorite quote is the movie punchline (spoilers alert!): Remember to notice the collateral beauty. I am writing due in part to the first SW prayer group that we just had. I felt like falling to my knees during sung worship that was such a beautiful joining of voices that gave this heart a glimpse of heaven again, and again when Revelations 4 was read. Oh my God, dear Abba, thank You for granting me the desires of my heart. I wanted for us to be a brighter light to the SW community, and today I see how it might happen. I see hope and passion in these faces gathered together in the Honours Room, sharing passionately about their vision for this season/semester. Indeed, You have not given us a spirit that makes us a slave again to fear, but a spirit of sonship. So much beauty felt and seen today, in t...

Partially blogging to calm the restlessness in my heart. It manifests in the form of checking my phone every 3 minutes and going on FB every 5. This is terrible man. Why is it there I wonder. I feel like I have a lot to share with different individuals and groups suddenly but I am trying to restrain myself. Is that why? Perhaps one main driving factor is to see who is on my side on things that I shared. xxx I already wanted to write about Brueggemann (henceforth Bman heh). He is really gold. I love how he is so incisive in such an artistic manner that I can both understand and appreciate. Reading Living Toward A Vision now and I can't begin to describe it. It's the feeling where there is something out there you had an inkling of in your heart but can't put a finger to, and someone comes and expresses it beautifully with a greater passion than you have. Thanking God for Bman and for people who introduced me to his writings every time I read. This chapter named ...

In all honesty I remembered being quite sian during the ExCo meeting when they decided that I should be the ex-officio for the freshmen orientation camp. At that point I was like gah, I need to go attend all their meetings and stuff. Today's QT reading really spoke to me- king Hezekiah's prayer after his illness and recovery in Isaiah 38. The themes of God not answering when you cry out, God being the one who afflicts, God working in ways so contrary to who He says He is, and a man's anguish at all this. "I waited patiently till dawn, but like a lion he broke all my bones; day and night you made an end of me" (v13) "But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and he himself has done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul. Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too." (v15-16a) "Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish" (v17a) There was a breakthrough during this c...