chronicles of young

 (Haha post title inspired by my current favorite Kdrama- Guardian)  Its not 'because the weather was good enough' as I know what I am going to write is what I know to be true for me regardless of the weather. Its just that when the weather is bad (read: the sun's rays are obscured), I feel like things are more grey and the brightness in my heart grows dimmer. Perhaps this is really the limits- or rather more positively, stretching of my faith to hope, trust, love and rejoice in all circumstances.  Writing down some reflections/reminders recently, with much thanksgiving- God is giving me good gifts right now; all the time in all different seasons. Was comparing and thinking about 'what could be' recently which got me pretty emotional, and a  timely article on God's providence from C. really spoke to me. There are so many good gifts that I could list out when b0bear asked me what these were when I shared my reflections- well worth remembering on overcast days. B

The PhD feels so hard and lonely, especially today. I think the aloneness is already something always in the background, when obviously other friends have their own colleagues for support and workplace huddles. Ironically COVID made things a bit better; there is the new normal of WFH which allowed for some shared experience with friends. And now I at least have a warm person that I can talk to face to face during the work day.  I really don't know if it was my lonesome personality that got me just going into this PhD in the first place. Okay I guess I am feeling exclusively, majorly sorry for myself. I feel pretty bad and frustrated to be doing this but well this is where I am. Its almost gonna be 2 years since I started. Will I end up also just being used to working by myself and be a difficult person to work with next time. Or worse am I gonna end up in a place where I will continue working by myself... I'm not thinking about giving up but it just feels so hard. It makes me w