chronicles of young

 Today is Easter Saturday- the in-between that reminds us Christians that we are living in a world where the glorious Light and Living Hope has dawned, but that it is still Not- Yet though not far.  I attended a memorial service of a dear sister's aunt this afternoon. I only have vague memories of her from attending IBC services in 2015, and last week I was quite emotionally vulnerable from the brokenness already that I dreaded to attend. But thank God, by Tues I submitted my conference paper and it just made everything better- plus past few days of connecting with different friends.  Anyway, I cried quite a bit- I really could see the legacy of Aunty through my friend and their family. Their family had always been such hospitable people to me and others in the church, and my friend had always been this sweet presence. Learning how Aunty had sown into their lives made me think: Wow, would people say this of me at my funeral next time? The testimony of her legacy was reall...

Friday I start with my childhood best friend, because she defined most of my life. From primary school till even JC when my childhood best friend was in a different school, I have always felt defined by her. She had such a big personality which you either loved or hated, and I kinda faded beside her. I really wanted to be accepted and liked then, especially by her and the few friends that we hung out with.I wouldn't deny those were fun times. From disturbing guys we had crushes on and cracking jokes about sexuality in primary school, to taking so many neoprints at JEC and lying about having projects in school when I came home late, and jointly venting our anti-elitist judgements on the people in NJC and HCI over fries at KAP (That was mainly in my first year of JC). But you know the feeling when a party has ended and you are going home alone in the quiet night? Often, I would so desperately want to be known and make myself known. And yet I couldn't, because I didn't q...

Why am I penalised for doing good. Why is this happening to me. I can't take this anymore. F**K these shit. Yesterday all these were running through my mind. The combined events of the day just broke the alabaster I was holding things together in. I refused to let myself be reminded of Christ, knowing full well that He can help me. From today's Lent devotion: "Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;   so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him." John 13:3-5 As Jesus came to serve and wash our dirty feet so I am called to follow His example. Even as He pushes me to do all these, He works things to give me what is needed. O God, thank You for these small miracles that are evidence of Your...