chronicles of young

Hey!  I was thinking about adulting (lol yes I am not quite over the fact that I am an adult, and have to say that I am in my late-20s gah) over breakfast yesterday. And since it was your birthday, my thoughts as a birthday gift of sorts haha! Was just mulling how I got a bit anxious about wasted time cos I woke up at 12pm, and then it hit me that it was stemming from the belief that I need to make things work. Like somehow, as an adult, the stakes are higher- don't waste time cos if I do, I will lose out or the world will be a lesser place etc. Perhaps adulthood got a bit burdensome because it felt like the stakes/risks are progressively higher; and it is not okay to fail. Like, don't 'waste time' with this guy if you are not gonna marry him, or I've gotta make my PhD work else I'll be wasting my time. Or I've gotta care about this social issue because its my role as an adult who has the resources to help. Haha not sure if I'm making sense but anyway ...

The entire trip with the Hagar staff and supporters was a tremendously blessed one. Apart from seeing the wonderful work done, it was also meeting people that have the same heartbeat and have gone ahead of me. Just wanted to write down how each of these people have touched my life, for that blip of shared time in Hanoi: Firstly, it became such a joy being somewhat of a wallflower and looking at Lynette laughing so heartily at the smallest things. There was always something to laugh at or be playful about, and the van was filled with boisterous laughter throughout the 4 days. The sisterhood with Camy was also something so beautiful, and both of them really exuded that joy in service and in working for Hagar. It must have been a leap of faith to work in Hagar with only 3 staff and no office (until recently), being in the stable job of MSF. Kelda's dedication to take photos which meant she would always not have a nice shot of her inside the group photos was also so...

Just wanted to remember today though I am super tired having been up for almost 19.5h since 6am. I am particularly thankful for Thursday Year 4s prayer gathering today- it was my turn to share which I forgot, but I did an impromptu one. Felt like I should share on koinonia (fellowship/community), and how we as a community of love and acceptance show Christ. And how we have not, instead being insular. And also, for Plumb. I think it is one of the best since my first Plumb with super nurturing Maria? I had this idea for reading a book about faith (apologetics, pastoral, whatever), and share with the Plumb. Super happy when people want to borrow my books to read. IFG topical was good also, reminded of how I take myself too seriously- in the sense of guarding my 'reputation'. Of which, really, is there really a reputation I should be cultivating? The sharings afterward were precious as well- people so different from us whom we are trying to love wholeheartedly with God'...