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What is good, true and beautiful?

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Actually I'm just like what the shit... allow me to rant for awhile and let out the negativity.  Was gonna post an IG story on Close Friends but realised I didn't really want to talk about stuff should anyone reply so putting it here for an almost-imaginary or future audience (hopefully me in the future feeling much better). I really have not 释怀 and believe me, I've tried. Daily, many times a day, especially after talking with boss.  Last month I was on the track of I will just buckle down and finish my KRAs, and for awhile it worked but how long can I suppress my emotions especially when gaslighting continues right. I can deal with what I see as illogical tasks but added on with gaslighting?! SCREW YOUUUU SCREW YOUUU I tried to use the questions of what is good, true and beautiful to focus myself on the positive... seriously some days I feel so weary trying to make the best and see the best in this place. It feels so unproductive needing to manage my emotions and negative ...
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Remembering

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 Logging in a tangible realisation of prayer tonight after I got back from the Geylang Ministry dinner.  God, You have been so faithful and kind to me.. I want to remember what a privilege it is to serve You together with my brothers and sisters that You have called into one family.  I had a prayer when I was in HK and I see now that it was a subconscious thing I was looking for- to work in an area where the marginalised are reached within a community. I kind of had that in HK but here in GM, I felt so cared for even as I served. Really inspired by Debbie and Kelvin's heart, and the various others whom I felt safe with even though I just met them for the first time. Somehow there is that camaraderie with these people who chose to commit their time and energy to reaching Geylang.  There will be struggle and even disillusionment, but Lord, I pray that I will remember this. Even to carry this spirit of love and service similarly if I am in that sphere of influence....
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One Month (minus 2 days)

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into this thing called married life.  I wonder how I am gonna maintain general hygiene, do well at work, keep in touch with friends, visit family regularly (4 parents now.. quite terrible but I'm kinda thankful I don't have another set of grandparents), have quiet reflective time with God, keep up with ministry stuffs, and be intentional about God's calling for me in missions.  The last bit is the one that I feel more strongly in recent times while the skeptical side of me says its just because its Mission month in church. But I've always known since I became a Christian that I am moved to see people from least reached peoples come to know Christ, I just don't know how this translates to action. Especially now that I feel more keenly that I am not my own- yet may that remind me of a higher calling: "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (1 Cor 6:19b-20); and "I am under obligation both to Greeks and to b...
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感恩致辞

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短短5分钟，要感谢的人太多了 I'm between you and lunch so I'll keep it fast. 阿爸阿妈，做你们的孩子，我很喜欢 在婆婆家和哥哥表姐弟妹长大也和喜欢 小时牵过的手， 如今老了  手上的皱纹深深浅浅  那是岁月的痕迹  却依然温暖如初   诗人写的，我中文没那么流利---  adapted from《父亲的手》 by Bei Dao (北岛) My new parents, thank you for welcoming me into your home my new brothers, for your background support through the years My spiritual family 属灵的家庭 now spread across at least two cities, and more in the future Thank you, thank you for all gathering here and online today Young and older Friends who have known me for close a decade or more, Amazing how we kept in touch despite what life had in store Meninas bonitas we finally reunite! and 隔岸的 dai lou Thank you for the thousand miles or more in our friendship Year 1 serious awkward me  Was blessed with warm-hearted funny weird peeps 社工系的 VCF 的， 大 4 Exco and Honours class 一起努力 Was one of the best times of my life  Coming close, the Lakeside youth team So many unglam photos with and of you people Blessed that work th...
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This Is My Solemn Vow

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I, xxx, take you, xxx to be my husband, to have and to hold,  from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish, till death do us part.  This is my solemn vow. This is the first public vow before God and man since my baptism. Then, it was me and God. Now, its me with my to-be husband. To be husbanded, and to be a wife... As I think on these words and I can't help thinking how things can and have gone terribly wrong with us and in families all over, I wonder at the fact that we are getting married.  And yet. We are. By God's grace, we are. I am thankful that we are :) To walk through life with this person and know he's got your back, even knows you better than yourself at times. To be cared for and cherished, and have someone to care for too. Last but not least, walking this life on earth with its rough-and-tumble with a lighter step.  and with all that I am, and all that I have, I will honour...
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Stepping into 30's, into Marriage

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 Saturday. Day 2 of the second quarter in 2024.  On Leap Day I had a thought- Is my life inspiring to the young ones looking at me as an example of adulting, i.e. living out life on this side of heaven? Do I inspire through my hope and zest for life- to pass the baton of light I'd received from the generation of believers before me? I wonder.  Every so often I am struck with a feeling of restlessness and dissatisfaction at how my life is panning out. In the sense of wondering if I have been doing what I am supposed to do. (There is no resolution in this post by the way, unless I arrive at one while typing) After kind of waffling my time away on IG story- there's something that tells me to STOP yet something in me kept scrolling, not wanting to face whatever feelings I am in right now- I finally turned on my laptop to work on a new journal article.  Perhaps I am burnt out? From facing my research after a good dang 4 years.. with the end being so terribly drawn out. At...
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Maranatha

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  This hymn brought tears to my eyes as we sang it in church this morning... The plaintive tune and lyrics brought to mind the many Christians waiting, seeking, praying (or faint from praying), for peace and justice for themselves and their homeland. Sigh.. Come Lord Jesus.  There are no words, just sighs and groans at the horrors I read/know a fraction of in the news and on social media.  As I read about ("yet another") natural disaster- "worst flood in a century in Somalia", the death toll, the reason (El Nino)- my heart naturally 'seizes up' a bit to shore myself from getting too affected. Yet Lord, yet Kang, aren't each 1 behind the number that added to the death toll and the people displaced from their homes, an eternal soul? It is all too easy to get hypocritical and think to myself: "I care quite a bit already". Thank You Spirit for putting in my heart this thought: We in Singapore may feel protected from all these, but its not if but wh...
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