chronicles of young

A realisation again as I was in the prayer meeting: I am constantly in that state of not being sure whether God will save. This posture of seeing that God can not extend salvation to people. Because as I was praying for the new students the fact that it is only God who saves was so evident. What can I say? This is my God. The sovereign God. He is mighty to save, His love endures forever, and He is good. At the same time, there are people whose hearts He hardens. There are times when He is not present, His hand too short to save. There are times when His presence is withdrawn from His people. But God, I know you. I know that you love us- the scarlet thread of love woven throughout the Bible. Whether he knows or not does not matter. What matters is that I guard my heart and he also guards his.  Wrote this in Mongolia this June. Two more weeks before the end of my second last semester, so in a reflective mood. And also bcos I left the house in haste this morn and forgot to b...

"the day of small things" Zech 4:10 As I stalk myself (reading past posts and flipping through my journal) and reflecting on the Word during QT I realised that something that keeps coming up throughout this semester so far is- Small things in the lives of individuals are weaved together into a beautiful narrative that is also in the Bible, of creation to new creation. How is God telling me to respond? As I do more fun stuff in the next few weeks- exam blessings, thesis (yeaa I guess its fun) and project work, I haven't really had the time to sit down and reflect/pray/think. Have to really think about my future professional trajectory now- literally forced to. SunRay Scheme and PhD in Hong Kong (?!). Both of which I initially viewed with trepidation and don't really want to think about. But these are really great opportunities and I should appreciate them as such. So thank God. If anything, I can trust in His providence, shown so tangibly this week thus...

Liminal space: an in-between space of both becoming and transition. It struck me as I was thinking about how we conceived the almost-crazy idea of doing a mini social enterprise (what is thesis. what is year 4. what is Exco lol), that food has been central in many things. Looking at photos of food from the past 2 weeks (mostly this week), I begin to see that food has created a liminal space. With HX: Engaging with social issues as a Christian A clearer shape for hitherto subliminal thoughts, yet not fully formed (would they?) The act of food instagraphy as a metaphor for this generation To think! Alone! The becoming of a community. Usually begins with food. A simultaneous reflection of who we are and want to be  (Do I sound like I am super deep yet HAHA) (But I am. Deep deep in God's love)

To be completely honest, I didn't feel very much. In the sense of deep empathy and emotions. Perhaps that's why I am not seized by the urge to write down my experiences. Perhaps it is because it is 'nothing new' to me, having been in social work for 3 years now. I could even tell Bernice, 'I can almost predict the trajectory for Z., that he will go back to drugs again.' (Okay I recall a bit of emotion when I said that) But because I promised Abraham to send him reflections, I shall write stuff down. Thinking back at my own experiences throughout the two days and that of the few others that I heard from, I have been wondering,"What we have achieved?" We have these stories of people. Mostly their sorrows and challenges, but also their joys. What do we do with these stories? I realise that I have this strong, if not easily articulated conviction that we are all connected, each one of us. Don't think it is coincidence that I plucked out The Kingd...

It's 12.41am, and I am strangely awake. It's been a long day, starting with meeting the Utown peeps (and free breakfast yay!) at 8.30am which meant I had to wake up at 6. I realised I have been subconsciously thinking about this in recent months, but the words for it came only today when I was thinking about the Science and Engin peeps. Especially Science.They are going to provide refreshments for our first Fellowship Teaching- which is going to be about 100 people. And my first thought was: the chairs, especially J, are already so busy, why are they doing this? And so the conclusion: Love compels us to do things that do not make sense. To most of the world at least. An interesting thought presented by a speaker on Galatians 5:22, and shared to me by a friend. The original manuscripts were in Greek, which had no punctuation. So he thinks that instead of the current English translation, the original version renders: But the fruit of the Spirit is love: joy, peace, patien...

Birthday wish: By the Holy Spirit, to love recklessly. "We loved because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

This week has been one of tensed shoulders, little sleep, anxiety, distressing thoughts at whether I might be developing anxiety issues or being able to cope with the year ahead or how people will see me or whether I am going to do anything worthwhile. Standing at the edge of it on the other side, I want to look back and remember. Sorry if this post quite hard to read because I am actually going to finish this up asap so that I can spend more time alone with God. (Perhaps that is also one reason for the anxiety- I am a worrier I realised, needing to make sure I am things ahead in control) I get quite distressed reading the news. I want to move on, but at the same time I cannot because these are lives. The 80000 Mexicans that died through the violent drug wars are lives.I think, they are probably not saved. And so I cry out... and I feel like there's so much to do but I am so weak. Even prayer and intercession, I struggle with that for these people I read in the news. So I am fe...