Kintsugi // Heart of Worship

"我祈禱擁有一顆透明的心靈

和會流淚的眼睛" 

<夜空中最亮的星>

The rest of the lyrics are unrelated; just putting this song here also as a sound memory for the precious times on the road in KL, talking about random stuffs over Chinese songs. The beauty of carefree youth :')

But just as the 14-day stay home after the KL trip reminds me that things aren't about me, I know that it's childishly unloving to remain in the rose-tinted memories of past adventures.

Yet, I believe that this adventure-loving, foolhardy part of me has also been very helpful in pushing me to just try something, as long I believed in it enough at the start. But playing on a harder mode each time, God. Let my heart of worship be there when all is stripped away, and I feel like the end of myself.

Almost a quarter of 2020 gone. Somehow I feel like this year is so much more trying than all the other years I can remember in my life. I felt like I had lost a bit of that excited, risk-taking self, and in its place was an anxious self worrying if I can make it and not really daring to dream. On top of that, looms COVID-19 (many things to be thankful for though, chief of which I am home).

Started 2020 still tentative and fearful, but very encouraged by the first few lines of a poem. The Gate of the Year (God Knows) is really such an apt poem as a frame to prop up my weak knees this year:

‘God Knows' by Minnie Louise Haskins
And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”
So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.
And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart be still:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention.

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision,
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him,
All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes,
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail,
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

Treading gladly into the night :') You are a sure light for whatever path only You know, heavenly Father. Let there be a heart of worship.