chronicles of young

It's the third day knowing that I have been accepted into the PhD programme (i.e. I'm getting a bit nervous about having to make a clear decision soon). I thank God for watercolour; I usually lapse into thinking about God as an impersonal Being, but painting creation- the sky, mountains, seas, vast expanses- helps me to remember again that God knows the whole of me and I know Him too. 18 Jan 站在大海边，才发现自己有多渺小， 而又发现，我是伟大神 拣选的。 19 Jan 往前看那前头的路程 你世世代代做我们的居所 你使人归于尘土 叫我们数算自己的日子 得着智慧的心 It is really amazing looking at this because I'd initially wanted to paint a horse, but screwed up so I had to paint something over it. A tent because I'd just read about Jesus at the Feast of Tabernacles, and also Mongolians use gers. Later on, next to 奶奶 and thinking about going away, Psalm 90 came to mind. And so this watercolour took on a whole different meaning for me. Where do I go from here? Pondering on how things will be for my family, a thought which I...

This should be for when I feel like I am not going anywhere, not making any difference, or not doing enough where I am in social work. 蜻蜓/pepatung/dragonfly 荷叶孤浮水面上， 带着莲花之盼望。  水底海草蜻蜓迷，  放纵自己去探索。    The most part of this month was grappling with wanting to be free.   Free to do what, and from what? To do what I want, both in social justice and interfaith work and what-not to change the world, and more frivolous stuff like going where I want when I want (i.e. alone). To be free from being bound to imperfect systems- in my mind operationalised as getting told what to do regardless of whether I choose to or not. (But the root of it is, I realise, I hate getting told what to do especially when I feel like it constrains the create-tive use of my time) Are you truly free?  For what seemed like a long struggle, I didn't want to accept that in many senses, I am not free to do as I please. Resentment would be riled up when I perceived that my time...

-well darling let's hurt tonight. If this love is pain then darling let's love tonight~ (Let's Hurt Tonight, OneRepublic) Painted this today morning against the background music of Sinking Deep/I Need You Now/Broken Vessels. A fountain. The three that remain: Faith, Hope and Love. Leaves of tree for the healing of nations. Now that I have gotten things off my chest, I feel more at peace. Thank you, Evan. Thank You, Father for this mentor who is so similar to me, both in angst and in passion. I almost cried when she shared about Rev.Yap used to ask "Why you so not 乖?" Really thank You, Lord, for You reminded me about my third resolution to spur my spiritual family towards love and good works. I know You would desire a willing heart more than a person with abilities. Empty empty all these things, without love. So many points I felt like crying when talking to Evan. About the love for and angst over church, when she asked me what did I think God wants me t...

Just wanted to remember today though I am super tired having been up for almost 19.5h since 6am. I am particularly thankful for Thursday Year 4s prayer gathering today- it was my turn to share which I forgot, but I did an impromptu one. Felt like I should share on koinonia (fellowship/community), and how we as a community of love and acceptance show Christ. And how we have not, instead being insular. And also, for Plumb. I think it is one of the best since my first Plumb with super nurturing Maria? I had this idea for reading a book about faith (apologetics, pastoral, whatever), and share with the Plumb. Super happy when people want to borrow my books to read. IFG topical was good also, reminded of how I take myself too seriously- in the sense of guarding my 'reputation'. Of which, really, is there really a reputation I should be cultivating? The sharings afterward were precious as well- people so different from us whom we are trying to love wholeheartedly with God'...

Of grief and joy. "By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion." Psalm 137:1 NIV "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:1‭-‬5 NIV 功夫不深,不过画的满开心的。 可以以画代字, 也是一种祝福。 One of my favorite hymns with added bridge.