chronicles of young

Saya tidak tahu betapa bangga saya. Saya kini boleh berdoa hanya, Tuhan menjaga keamanan, Holy Spirit be upon the very weak me dan membantu saya untuk merendah diri. Seperti Yesus, beliau seperti buah padi makin berisi makin rendah. Wow perkataan itu merendah. The actual bending/bowing down. Betul, biarlah saya merendah diri. To forget myself, this broken weak self. I need to admit that there was a lot of self involved. Pride- my greatest enemy how I hate it to its very core. Collateral beauty- in a sense saya mesti terima kasih kepada Tuhan kerana melalui situasi ini saya boleh memeriksa diri saya. Dan boleh merasa bagaimana kawan-kawan saya berasa tentang semua ini. Thank God that He has shown me how indeed all my good works are like filthy rags. I have been reflecting: Saya berjalan di sini, di situ- tetapi have I been running well? I can only give all praise to Abba who has taken these filthy rags by His grace, for His glory. Tengah hari ini tidak senang- bapa saudara imply...

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,  because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 This verse was shared on two occasions today and I was reminded of how I had trouble believing in the first part of the verse. Indeed, a leaky vessel was I, receiving love because God is love but not being made perfect in love. To be wholly in that loving obedience to the Father as Jesus Christ is. Was fighting back the urge to weep when we sang It is Our Father's World just now, after we prayed for Gambia, for USA, for the nations and people groups on our hearts. It is Your world, Abba, which You are reconciling to Yourself. In that place, I read Romans 8:15-39 aloud. And I prayed, for a different kind of prayer to sound from this place. In trust shall I pray, and where words may fail me 'the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will'. It has been a blessed day.

Mostly unedited comments from the play Disgraced by Ayad Akhtar, typed out during the post-play discussion: A turning in on yourself. Of realising that you are not who you are and yet you are who you are trying to hide yourself from. A part of yourself that you are secretly proud of if you dare to throw away the social norms and morality holding you back. The caricatures are so relevant because they connect to people in a not always explainable way. In some way we can see ourselves in these characters but yet there is a simultaneous rejection. The whole awakening to white privilege, to orientalism, to racial/religious profiling also seems to turn in on itself because it endorses a kind of stereotype also. So I guess at the same time the play is brilliant because it shoves the stereotypes up your face and declares SO WHAT F**K YOU (and I realise, maybe this curse word is a played out stereotype in itself). Because at the same time it is easy to draw causality rather than just obs...