chronicles of young

 It is so strange isn't it, I am the victim and the person who put that used condom in my bag is the one at fault, but it stirs up so many anxious thoughts about myself and second-guessing what actually happened because it is such a mystery as to how it got into my bag.  My first physical encounter with sexual trauma... but in this broken world as a female the response has a history of other traumas including vicarious ones shared with other females. I think again, in secular language we need male allies. But in God's design, we need males to be good stewards of their relationships with other females- mothers, lady friends, partners.  Particularly in the red light district. This is actually a euphemism for sexual exploitation. Of course me being pointed to by men to be engaged as a sex worker isn't 'wrong' per se. I was standing there with them. I think to myself, is this what it means to renounce myself and identify with them as Jesus did for us? It is still a (sma...

One year old, and one year older, as I reflect on the week, I still very much like my job.  Definitely not the interpersonal stress part though that has taught me some. Maybe not the needing to lead and put thought into developing people, though that process has changed my beliefs and attitudes towards mentoring.  Definitely yes: The colleagues I can call friends, and not only that! Who willingly take photos like the above because they know my irrelevance and roll with it.  But still, a belated reply to my colleague who asked earnestly: How do you always stay happy? I see you always look so happy in the office.   When she asked that I just came out of my 3rd engagement in 3 hours so I was zonked and couldn't manage a decent reply. (So I became irrelevant hahaha) Now that I think about the answer, it is quite funny that I thought of myself as more moody/emo. I was really surprised when a good friend described me as optimistic slightly m...

啊~ 又到了拜六，坐在上个礼拜坐的位置。  荣耀大君王， 欢迎你在我们中间。 你应许了我们，而且是远比我们敢想象或启求的。  真的是化腐朽为神奇，哈哈想到这是我的华文老师跟爸妈说她不能做的。你在我们里面成了奇迹，通过这些渺小胆怯的心灵动工。 好期待主日，Sunday School 后要和姐妹们 (haha literally; it's Mrs Yong and Dilys) 去吃韩国buffet :> 然后回家，静静地在主面前。又是一个充满福分的星期。  过后 | 贪吃记 在从小吃到大的咖啡店等爸妈，都说不饿。看到新开的中国拉面店，就叫了碗一起吃。妈妈说，没拿辣椒啊~ 我就去拿，不小心拿了一大把麻辣油，她竟然都搅进面里。惨了爸爸不吃了。  流了大把鼻涕，舌头麻到痛，不过吃到很爽： 走过香味肉干店，妈妈问，要吃豆沙饼吗？ 我说想吃旗子饼，那种没馅的。  啊！妈妈就走向我因为怕衅臭从来都没去过的店铺，那个五金店卖各种各样的饼干酥饼，看了很开心。两个贪吃婆好像眼看就满足了，没有旗子饼。又走到另一个店铺，那边暖暖的，因为她再磨花生，香味莫名令我快活。又是不同的粿，在那里终于有我们想吃的。Angku kueh <3 一边走一边吃的零食最好吃。咬一口，喂妈妈一口，一人一半感情不散。

One benefit of being a student is that your time is sectioned nicely into semesters, and I am now midway into my final one in NUS. Kisah ada pahit, ada manis, tapi Tuhan membuat segala sesuatu indah pada waktunya (Pengkhotbah 3:11, TB). Wrapping up this week with intentional quiet reflection and self-examination. Our gracious God has reminded me about the 3 resolutions I had for 2017 . A broken hallelujah to You, my King. To be honest, when my uncle began his series of text messages that was sending the implicit message of me not caring enough for my family, I was (1) frustrated (2) indignant (3) prideful and resistant (4) almost hateful. I was like: What more do you want?! What more do you want from me, God? And, who are you to tell me what to do, can't you see I am doing good work? Aren't I already making the effort? (Doesn't help that I was already feeling quite shaken from something else and that uncle was being indirect) Even now I find it difficult to reply ...

正有点不开心地折这些卡片， 我的阿爸走进我的房间。  手拿着药膏弯着腰，  说：你的脚怎么这样  要擦这个。  我说：用了 菱锌矿  阿爸说没用的是擦这个。  手指就把白白的膏涂在红红的蚊子叮上 脚伸出时想到了耶稣洗使徒的脚。  过后折的卡片，  一张张成为我给同学的祝福。    

Jaslyn started taking selfies when she was backpacking solo across Europe during her student exchange in Amsterdam. The permutations of facial expressions were endless against the backgrounds of cathedrals, stunning lakes and quaint buildings. She also developed the habit of scrolling through her photo album, staring into her face and figuring out what exactly she was thinking or feeling when she took that selfie. Jaslyn became quite obsessed with this activity, trying to figure herself out through those selfies. Surely those solo travels are a process of self-discovery, and the beautiful sights inspire a kind of beauty? Yet the closer she stared at those selfies, the more strange she felt to herself. It was the same when she put her face close to the mirror till even the carefully concealed blemishes became apparent. There was this prickly discomfort the more she did so, and that made her try even harder to get that perfect selfie. innisfree, Etude House, Majolica Majorca. Jas...

I am writing this mostly out of a sense of rage. I feel angry. Very angry. This Monday I first learnt about this revolting phenomenon happening in rural India called the WhatsApp sex videos. This term is even a euphemism for the horrible,terrible, absolutely crazy, heart-twisting thing that is happening. On Monday when I read the BBC article because it was shared by a friend on FB, it was mostly okay. "Read it and weep" was the accompanying blurb my friend wrote. And I did. Before I read it I prayed, prayed that I will still see His Sovereign hand in this (depraved) world. Was then reminded of Isaiah 65: 17-25. "Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy. I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and crying will be heard in it no ...

To be completely honest, I didn't feel very much. In the sense of deep empathy and emotions. Perhaps that's why I am not seized by the urge to write down my experiences. Perhaps it is because it is 'nothing new' to me, having been in social work for 3 years now. I could even tell Bernice, 'I can almost predict the trajectory for Z., that he will go back to drugs again.' (Okay I recall a bit of emotion when I said that) But because I promised Abraham to send him reflections, I shall write stuff down. Thinking back at my own experiences throughout the two days and that of the few others that I heard from, I have been wondering,"What we have achieved?" We have these stories of people. Mostly their sorrows and challenges, but also their joys. What do we do with these stories? I realise that I have this strong, if not easily articulated conviction that we are all connected, each one of us. Don't think it is coincidence that I plucked out The Kingd...