chronicles of young

It's the third day knowing that I have been accepted into the PhD programme (i.e. I'm getting a bit nervous about having to make a clear decision soon). I thank God for watercolour; I usually lapse into thinking about God as an impersonal Being, but painting creation- the sky, mountains, seas, vast expanses- helps me to remember again that God knows the whole of me and I know Him too. 18 Jan 站在大海边，才发现自己有多渺小， 而又发现，我是伟大神 拣选的。 19 Jan 往前看那前头的路程 你世世代代做我们的居所 你使人归于尘土 叫我们数算自己的日子 得着智慧的心 It is really amazing looking at this because I'd initially wanted to paint a horse, but screwed up so I had to paint something over it. A tent because I'd just read about Jesus at the Feast of Tabernacles, and also Mongolians use gers. Later on, next to 奶奶 and thinking about going away, Psalm 90 came to mind. And so this watercolour took on a whole different meaning for me. Where do I go from here? Pondering on how things will be for my family, a thought which I...

In more ways than one, God spoke to me through my GP. I had put off going to the doc's but well I really need to be well by Monday. Somehow I have a slight mistrust of doctors, after a bad encounter at the hospital with my Granny's doctor and knowing that GP clinics are basically a business. Perhaps also from researching about healthcare for my thesis and stories from MSW friends. I also hate waiting in clinics or bureaucratic offices. To me the feeling of waiting to be processed is quite disempowering. Yet, unpleasant as the waits are they are good because they remind me of how social service users have these waits in higher frequency, and much longer duration. And then I had a seat which was great because I had brought my Bible to read. Quiet space is intentionally created and there in the clinic, truths were again spoken over me, echoing down the ages as I read the words (2 Corintians 9:6-15). The most divine part was the conversation with Dr Gloria, who challenged m...

It was just 30 cents but I was so proud to be my Daddy's daughter <3 The girl in front of us was going to not buy the bananas because she didn't have enough money, so my Dad topped up for her :') Just today I was thinking about how my parents have brought us up to be so socially conscious- my mum and I laughed at this bawling kid yesterday, and she shared that we have never made a scene in public like this because there will be severe repercussions. That's right I approve, give no chance. That's why I'm among the stricter teachers in Sunday School. At the same time I thought: Then the experience of grace has worn away the accumulated layers of 恥 ( haji /shame).  Various disparate thoughts. No point trying to weave a common narrative thread. I love how I can still be a kid in my parents' eyes, even as I share some of the family burdens as a young adult now. Sometimes I will just call my mum/dad for no reason, I can still playfully fistbump my dad...