阿爸
It was just 30 cents but I was so proud to be my Daddy's daughter <3 The girl in front of us was going to not buy the bananas because she didn't have enough money, so my Dad topped up for her :')
Just today I was thinking about how my parents have brought us up to be so socially conscious- my mum and I laughed at this bawling kid yesterday, and she shared that we have never made a scene in public like this because there will be severe repercussions. That's right I approve, give no chance. That's why I'm among the stricter teachers in Sunday School. At the same time I thought: Then the experience of grace has worn away the accumulated layers of 恥 (haji/shame).
Various disparate thoughts. No point trying to weave a common narrative thread.
I love how I can still be a kid in my parents' eyes, even as I share some of the family burdens as a young adult now. Sometimes I will just call my mum/dad for no reason, I can still playfully fistbump my dad's protruding belly, or 吵着要吃甜品 (which my mum will usually oblige happily). It is indeed a blessing. Especially when J's dad just got diagnosed with aggressive cancer and teacher SM (who I look up to as a role model for my future parenting) is still in intensive care after a major op. I particularly am concerned for SM's kids because they are still young. Recalling how Dad also dealt with cancer - but really really thank God that it is in remission now and he doesn't have to take the long-term medication anymore.
I don't think I was even affected much because my parents' philosophy was for us to live as 'normal' a life as possible, and I was still really young when 阿爸 first got diagnosed. My brother probably bore the brunt of the stress my mum faced. Something that still pains mum. Is that really why he is so distant from the family now? But I'm glad he knows we all love him- each in our inefficiently non-verbal way because the sun will rise from the west if we are express affection openly.
Still to be honest, it has been so easy to ignore this brother in my life- especially when I have platonic friends who have been kor-kor to me (sheez I sound like a 小妹妹). I actually don't know what will change things- A girlfriend? An illness? Oh wait. Not what. Who.
"Thy power, and Thine alone, Can change the leper's spots, And melt the heart of stone"
Let me expect great things from You, Lord.
So I'm almost happy that I probably won't get the PhD. Was looking at my calendar for May-July and a sinking feeling when I saw how many dates were highlighted green to indicate I won't be home. Oh well. We'll come to a point when I have to make hard decisions again if I get accepted into the PhD programme.
Just today I was thinking about how my parents have brought us up to be so socially conscious- my mum and I laughed at this bawling kid yesterday, and she shared that we have never made a scene in public like this because there will be severe repercussions. That's right I approve, give no chance. That's why I'm among the stricter teachers in Sunday School. At the same time I thought: Then the experience of grace has worn away the accumulated layers of 恥 (haji/shame).
Various disparate thoughts. No point trying to weave a common narrative thread.
I love how I can still be a kid in my parents' eyes, even as I share some of the family burdens as a young adult now. Sometimes I will just call my mum/dad for no reason, I can still playfully fistbump my dad's protruding belly, or 吵着要吃甜品 (which my mum will usually oblige happily). It is indeed a blessing. Especially when J's dad just got diagnosed with aggressive cancer and teacher SM (who I look up to as a role model for my future parenting) is still in intensive care after a major op. I particularly am concerned for SM's kids because they are still young. Recalling how Dad also dealt with cancer - but really really thank God that it is in remission now and he doesn't have to take the long-term medication anymore.
I don't think I was even affected much because my parents' philosophy was for us to live as 'normal' a life as possible, and I was still really young when 阿爸 first got diagnosed. My brother probably bore the brunt of the stress my mum faced. Something that still pains mum. Is that really why he is so distant from the family now? But I'm glad he knows we all love him- each in our inefficiently non-verbal way because the sun will rise from the west if we are express affection openly.
Still to be honest, it has been so easy to ignore this brother in my life- especially when I have platonic friends who have been kor-kor to me (sheez I sound like a 小妹妹). I actually don't know what will change things- A girlfriend? An illness? Oh wait. Not what. Who.
"Thy power, and Thine alone, Can change the leper's spots, And melt the heart of stone"
Let me expect great things from You, Lord.
So I'm almost happy that I probably won't get the PhD. Was looking at my calendar for May-July and a sinking feeling when I saw how many dates were highlighted green to indicate I won't be home. Oh well. We'll come to a point when I have to make hard decisions again if I get accepted into the PhD programme.
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