I am writing this mostly out of a sense of rage. I feel angry. Very angry. This Monday I first learnt about this revolting phenomenon happening in rural India called the WhatsApp sex videos. This term is even a euphemism for the horrible,terrible, absolutely crazy, heart-twisting thing that is happening. On Monday when I read the BBC article because it was shared by a friend on FB, it was mostly okay.

"Read it and weep" was the accompanying blurb my friend wrote. And I did. Before I read it I prayed, prayed that I will still see His Sovereign hand in this (depraved) world. Was then reminded of Isaiah 65: 17-25.

"Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy. I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and crying will be heard in it no more."
Isaiah 65:17-19
Today reading and seeing the vivid details in Al-Jazeera, I was seized with a deep sense of rage. Of which now as I type I realised may not be as righteous as it seems. After sharing the post on FB I was scrolling through the Newsfeed and actually getting more angry at the things being shared. And I got angry that there was only 2 likes to my Monday share while my birthday post on Lim Min's wall got so many likes.

Reflecting on yesterday's Fellowship Teaching on Nehemiah in light of this, and my prayer to God just this morning, I realised that there is a strong drive within me. That can be triggered emotionally quite easily. For good- CASA Clementi, Special Seeds, Project Masterpiece. For worst- a sense of cynicism and doubt toward God, an anger toward people that sometimes scares me, a fear that God is not there and there is nothing to life but this, a bulldozing of people instead of a love for them.

Yes, that's why Jesus is so lovely. He combines that deep conviction and emotions with a deep sense of love for people. He does not tear them down in his zeal. He trusts the God of the process, the sovereign God who controls the powerful kings of history and works in individual men. He is so much, yet deigns to tarry with the disciples that are slow to understand. Thank you Jesus.