Humility// Merendah Diri

Saya tidak tahu betapa bangga saya. Saya kini boleh berdoa hanya, Tuhan menjaga keamanan, Holy Spirit be upon the very weak me dan membantu saya untuk merendah diri.

Seperti Yesus, beliau seperti buah padi makin berisi makin rendah.

Wow perkataan itu merendah. The actual bending/bowing down. Betul, biarlah saya merendah diri. To forget myself, this broken weak self. I need to admit that there was a lot of self involved. Pride- my greatest enemy how I hate it to its very core.

Collateral beauty- in a sense saya mesti terima kasih kepada Tuhan kerana melalui situasi ini saya boleh memeriksa diri saya. Dan boleh merasa bagaimana kawan-kawan saya berasa tentang semua ini. Thank God that He has shown me how indeed all my good works are like filthy rags. I have been reflecting: Saya berjalan di sini, di situ- tetapi have I been running well? I can only give all praise to Abba who has taken these filthy rags by His grace, for His glory.

Tengah hari ini tidak senang- bapa saudara implying that I have been neglecting the family (namely, my 奶奶), and then got to know of the offense made. Particularly for my 大姑丈 I was quite convicted by the sense of injust I felt. Who was I to feel this way when he has been the main caregiver for my grandma who has been in and out of the hospital twice in this month? I feel that I should honour and give him the due respect as well. Which my damn prideful heart is not willing to cede. Lord help me. It was easier (much more so) with the other offense I had made. Merendah diri. Budaya Melayu betul-betul sangat indah.

Dari Mazmur 125 yang menenang hati saya:
Nyanyian ziarah.
125:1 Orang-orang yang percaya kepada TUHAN adalah seperti gunung Sion yang tidak goyang, yang tetap untuk selama-lamanya.
125:2 Yerusalem, gunung-gunung sekelilingnya; demikianlah TUHAN sekeliling umat-Nya, dari sekarang sampai selama-lamanya.

Yahweh, come and be the shalom amongst us, in us. O come, O come, Emmanuel.

Listening to the very same hymn I was listening sorrowfully this afternoon.Terima kasih kepada Tuhan keranaNya membantu saya untuk merendah diri. Went home to watch the video clip that my Uncle sent to bring across his message to me- prayed that I will honour him, to be humble, as Christ emptied Himself and became obedient even unto death. What am I, that I should hold to my self so tightly?

And so, I typed a sincere and I hope response that will be favourable in his eyes. No reply yet, but he has read it. I just wanna go and sleep after typing these.

Sanctification: Interhall worship and prayer was good :) I really loved how there was equal measure of worship and prayer, was initially worried it might veer towards the former. I think I succeeded at being a wallflower, which is great. Thank God for the tonsillitis, which helped greatly in making sure I just stayed in the background. At some point (I found it quite funny), I went behind the curtains to look out at Temasek Hall outside as Idelle was praying- wallflower points up. I am very thankful for the chance to pray together with the hallies and Faith, to intercede, to bring before me the faces of strangers- 那些隐约的面孔,都交托给神父您慈爱的手里。Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to thee O Israel.