( )

This symbol has been featuring in my thoughts for the past 1 month plus ever since I read that article.

( ) used to be B, the second best friend I had and possibly the oldest friend I am still pretty much in regular contact with. That sass, that humour, the way boys like her. In no small way, as I was reflecting after Disgraced, in no small way has how I present myself been shaped by her. Even till now.

( ) is still sometimes "one of those chicks that look like they have it all". What came back to me again and again was this paragraph:

"It's kind of beyond me how someone can have their life so sorted. Maybe I should start comparing them allegorically to filing cabinets. Each file section is a subdivision of life. Academics. Family ties. Extra-curricular activities. Social stature. Looks. Boyfriends/ girlfriends. Socioeconomic state. Mental health. Physical form. With a person like ( ), not only is every section perfectly organised, but also each page has the right border, font, page number and grammar with A-pluses on each sheet of crisp white paper inside every pastel folder... I gave up on trying to be an ( ) a long ago."

At the same time, I realised, I am an ( ) to some people too. With that realisation there is that tint of pride that I am struggling to weed out. And a dull horror too. What with social media where we post the nicest shots of ourselves, especially Instagram, it is all too easy to see ( ) in everyone.

( ) 

Dear Friend, 

See how ( ) is like a circle but not quite perfectly rounded? There are gaps where the lines do not meet nicely. Of course, some people appear more rounded than others, some have smaller gaps. They do look like they have got it all together, don't they, these ( )s. I know it might not help to say emphatically NO they don't, but saying it anyway. Perhaps the true art of living is learning to face these gaps rather than working to appear like you have got it all together. You matter, Friend.