Undo the Damage Done

If time could turn back, would I still have done what I did? What would Jesus have done?

These words have sunk deep into my heart. Said with that steady gaze. A tinge of bitterness? I couldn't even express how sorry I felt- the impact of what I (no, we) have done was looming over me.

I sat outside with the piercing shouts of children, and it seemed too much to bear.

Afterwards I tried to revert to childish thinking- heck, I'm only 20! I shouldn't be doing these things.

Steel yourself. Steel yourself.

I need to read the Word. Romans 8. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
I down the comforting milk tea together with Romans 8, trying to claim the promises.

Remembered how Betsie thanked God for the fleas in that wretched concentration camp. Thank God for this failure also, may I be open-handed toward You.

Afterwards: Thank God that I recall how it is not totally my fault; but due to the lack of information and actions taken by both sides. Thank God that the parents responded, but after I have experienced all of the above.

Going back to the school to sit in the Parent-Teacher (and Principal) meeting tomorrow. Okay, heart is more in equilibrium now.

The battle is not done.

[27 March]
So I convened with the Principal, Vice Principal, form teacher and the child's parents today.

I needed some normalcy with my friends, and managed to have lunch with them after class.
I prayed to reach there in time, and I got the taxi almost immediately when I reached the road.
I prayed that the taxi will have NETS (cos I didn't see the machine), but the taxi driver trusted me enough to transfer the fare to his account.
I prayed (many times) for wisdom and I think I received it. I have never been this assertive when talking with people but I managed to bring my point across.

Most of all, I prayed for the parents to be open to sending the child to Grace Orchard- and today I went with the family to sign the application form.
What is amazing was that the parents resisted sending the child there for a long time- they were portrayed as quite adversarial and difficult.  Acknowledging the other party's concerns and having power in information- reminded of these things in class today and I really really thank God for that.

The child will be starting school next Monday. There might still be struggles yet, but for now I declare again that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose'' (Romans 8:28, NIV).