chronicles of young

(Title: God redeemed this wild child to be a 野子 for Him) Uber thankful for this Sabbath where I intentionally went offline though it is tough. So much that God deposited in me through talking to Him, 赞美之泉, reading, and now writing. Today was a beautiful day in church- warm shalom greetings after service (I chose to sit at the pews though my default is at the side), having kids so engaged as I read this lovely book of prayers, Bible study on Jesus' position on the Sabbath with the girls (I think friendship with Ju is at another level through doing this together), and fellowship with CG peeps. Pure gold moments :') Where I genuinely feel God's presence in the moment as I share and receive from others. Anyway, this passage from Platinga's Engaging God's World  that pushed me to write: "Compassion represents the death of our old self, with its emotional stinginess, and the birth of our new self, with its emotional generosity . The compassionate person uni...

台中 在未来某个灰暗的一天，希望回想这几天好牧人的带领照顾 不盼望挫折但也知道 “你的国降临” 这个祷告大部分是由信徒的心酸而应许的 :')

( Writing this the morning after caffeine-induced high at night; I don't doubt that God also used last night to speak into my life ) Those verses came to mind as I was praying for Mongolia, which led me to pray for the different ethnos as well. And I was suddenly filled with that deep longing and a deep sense of vision, as I envisioned awesome sights of each unique ethnos bringing gifts that reflect their culture and God's glory into the city of God. I think this is the source of my attraction to tribes and cultures different from my own. That first encounter with Mongolia awakened that sometimes troubling attraction. Is it just wanderlust and the desire to be 'free', or romanticised attraction?  This morning, it hit me that I was going into another city, with its different people groups. How can I work for the shalom of this city? Where the fruits of nature are fruitfully employed, and there is universal (mutual) flourishing, wholeness. 1 I don't know...

It's the third day knowing that I have been accepted into the PhD programme (i.e. I'm getting a bit nervous about having to make a clear decision soon). I thank God for watercolour; I usually lapse into thinking about God as an impersonal Being, but painting creation- the sky, mountains, seas, vast expanses- helps me to remember again that God knows the whole of me and I know Him too. 18 Jan 站在大海边，才发现自己有多渺小， 而又发现，我是伟大神 拣选的。 19 Jan 往前看那前头的路程 你世世代代做我们的居所 你使人归于尘土 叫我们数算自己的日子 得着智慧的心 It is really amazing looking at this because I'd initially wanted to paint a horse, but screwed up so I had to paint something over it. A tent because I'd just read about Jesus at the Feast of Tabernacles, and also Mongolians use gers. Later on, next to 奶奶 and thinking about going away, Psalm 90 came to mind. And so this watercolour took on a whole different meaning for me. Where do I go from here? Pondering on how things will be for my family, a thought which I...

"Inilah perkerjaan yang dikehendaki Allah iaitu supaya kamu percaya kepada Dia yang diutus-Nya." Yahya 6:29 Started off 2019 sick (from the 2 back-to-back camps in the last week of 2018), and unsure of where I'm heading in life for the new year. Of course, one can say that years, weeks and months are human constructs. I believe God has given us the gift of different seasons so that we can be refreshed and renewed- in vision and direction. This can be seen in nature anyway. The picture above is going to be an anchor for 2019- to follow Jesus in saying "I do nothing of my own will, but do the will of the Father." (John 6:38) I sense this year is going to have quite a bit of sacrifices- was that why God spoke much more clearly?- and yet, there is excitement and anticipation in this apprehension.

Well I'm also happy for this part in my life too, though its really quite scary/tiring to experience barely controlled tears. How do you feel? The question I train myself to ask my clients, the same question that is so hard to answer. Both because its legit hard to describe feelings, and uncomfortable to answer. I sense that this time, there cannot be quick answers or resolutions to the tangle inside. 好像在和自己玩冒险游戏。But the irony is, this risk is to take with people. To make myself known , to give and to ( highlights ) receive . How to do that without getting burnt-out or self-centred is something that bewilders me. I just had a conversation with Mum about my menstrual cramps. 我的 team 现在很复杂 , I say as an explanation for the increased work stress cited as a reason for the cramps. Before I could continue, she jumped in to say 我的工作那边才复杂啊！ and proceeds to say more about her work.  When that happened I thought  Oh. This is how I feel unlistened to and it could re...

剪一片云拽着，纪念曾珍惜的， 就此远去了，但是心还悬着 怪怪的忧伤。而这歌词正唱出了心声。 Sometimes I reflect that social workers must either be superhuman, or robotic in order to function. To use the self as a professional, be fully congruent, yet not allow the self's experience and emotions to spill over. It is a wistful kind of sadness- delayed and projected grieves mingled with the joy of knowing these people and God. (Much as I can value independence and fun at the expense of others, my top primary goods are relationships and purpose okay.) Anyways, right after I typed this during lunch I had a session with a youth whom I basically said "Sorry social workers are not superhuman I can't read your thoughts" when he expressed that he sometimes wished I could just read his mind. And he complimented me twice: (1) For expressing how people cope with emotions through their own means even if it is a stupid way to others (e.g. self-harm), and (2) For being the first person to not focus on school, whi...