chronicles of young

What a blessing to be able to hold all things loosely, even my very life. Though of course as stoic/ faith-full as I seem, doubts and lingering fears will probably stay with me throughout my life. Am I fully convinced of my eternal glorious life in heaven? Honestly, no. Yet I have enough faith and experience with God to know that Abba Father will bring me home, by grace. Thinking about death more recently as I prepare heart and mind to head to Nagaland. There is a risk to every adventure undertaken with God, yet how fun and joyful each one is with the Spirit's leading :) Putting this hymn here as a reminder- the trip will be definitely challenging and stretch my patience, love and everything nice (LOL). Yet God remains our common vision and on this foundation we stand together. Heart of my heart, whatever befall, still be my vision O Ruler of all. \\ What if I really die? Be still, child. I the LORD will bring you home and take care of the things back here.

Tung Ping Chau, 2015 A random reflection that walking from place to place is like an intentional resistance to our modern culture of efficiency and desire for constant engagement. I realise that in recent years I tend to pack my day to fit in the various things. Which in itself is not evil, and yet too many of these kind of days actually hollows my (our) soul(s). We are not created to function on autopilot, but to feel and glorify God in all that we do. Today was the first Saturday in awhile that I had the whole day largely unplanned- just cousin's housewarming and then my parents and I had a deliciously free day full of things we could explore. We walked so much, and I really enjoyed that I didn't need to check the time to go off elsewhere. Just being present and enjoying the present. A ray of shalom I guess. And yet to remain in the tension- not yet. Was quite grieved when Mum flat outright refused to even look at the evangelistic booklet left at our door.

I truly thank God for this in-between season as I look ahead toward the new chapter of my life even as I prepare my heart to leave. Abba, You really do have a sense of humour. I had this mindset to wrap things up and press the reset button like I did 4 years ago, but You showed me otherwise. I asked for an end in my subconscious when faced with such brokenness and evil at work- seemingly more in recent months as I prepare to leave. My heart sighs and breaks at relationships not reconciled, children in lack, and youths seeking intimacy and significance in broken ways. Grief is uncomfortable. And You remind me that I have a calling as a prophet- to see, to grief, and then point to hope ( Brueggemann, 2014 ). I was readying myself for farewells and the inevitable (?) drifting of friendships- yet I'd grown deeper in friendships with young ones and those already in my life. Used to think that I'm not really a people person; but I guess 2019 is showing me otherwise. I was (am) ...