chronicles of young

It started with this: Table for one please.  Picture taken while waiting for a smaller table- I nearly walked out when I saw how bustling it was and there was no cosy loner corner for me. But by now I am wiser- it really doesn't matter how many social norms I break if I am doing what is right and good for me. So I sat alone, taking in all the beautiful things in this beautiful social enterprise cafe. Crossings Cafe employs at-risk youth and students with special needs from Assumption Pathway School.    Lunch Special: Coriander Fish Fillet with Spicy Tomato Sauce// with salad and mashed potato  Was 90% full nearing the last 2 bites of my fish but decided to order dessert anyway heh.  Panna Cotta of the Day: Teh tarik panna cotta You can see how I feel about it. Part 2: Tolma the Explorer Supreme Court library which is what I imagine the Hogwarts library will feel like- a lot of ancient incomprehensible b...

(After I blog this I shall disconnect, and try to process things with God.) Perhaps I am burnt out, I tell myself. But it's okay not to think about it now. I do want to be fruitful for God and perhaps being burnt out is a natural consequence- there is so much to do. I am glad these questions about toil, salvation, pain, brokenness, human relationships came as they do now. They put things in perspective when I see the world as it truly is- neither with rose-tinted glasses nor despair- because Jesus, the light of the world has come. In any case, I feel like there are so many tabs opened in my mind these few weeks. So I am glad that one tab has been closed. Thanks bro. For the grace shown, for speaking words not in haste (unlike the impatient me), for sharing. Yes, one tab closed. I wouldn't have it another way. But God, bring me through whatever lies ahead.

What I keep thinking this past week. Yet God keeps pushing me to it. Feel feel feel. I don't want to do anything anymore. <later> I still do feel like crap. Another question throughout this day is: How can I be authentic without affecting people with my feelings? Like, if people ask me if I'm okay, what do I say? 'I feel like shit and I don't want to talk?' --- No answers/still processing. I need Jesus. He knows what I am going through and He has been broken for others too. "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33b There is grace to help in time of need, just like in The Deathly Hallows when Harry decides to lay down his life to save his Hogwarts comrades (Hebrews 4:16). So like how the ghosts of Harry's loved ones gave him comfort at this time of need, I was buoyed by different forms of encouragement throughout today.