I think

18 is both a very young and very old age to be in.

I have probably just lived out one-fifth of my life, I'm dependent on my parents, I'm prone to melancholy and self-centeredness (taken to a whole new level with FB). In a bid to move away from self-centeredness I feel almost adverse to putting the word 'I' in a sentence and yet in this blog I cannot avoid doing so.

Kang Li feels like she knows alot because she thinks alot (that is also an unsupported perspective), when in fact the knowledge is a drop in the ocean of wisdom. At least let us know and appreciate this ocean.

She feels old in the sense that she is actively participating in some of the stuff she disdained in her childishness not so long ago. Feels hypocritical. And having a sense of.. disbelief. She is going for an internship and applying to possibly the hardest scholarship to get in the country! (Sounds ascetic/anti-establishment)

I think it boils down to motives. The pyschometric test results said that I look at things as black and white. Perhaps motives are the determining factor whether the same thing is black or white. We say its grey because we have no way of knowing the motives behind it.
Even the person himself can't be sure I guess. He might want to believe that his motives are noble, but I don't really know the motive for my application for the scholarship. Is it truly to lighten the financial burden and to have that job opportunity? Or prestige?

Hope I will answer everything truthfully.