Faces // Love is not a thing to be so used

Maybe I write this post as a mini self rebuke, maybe an act of subtle self-glorification.

"A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fools' eyes wander to the ends of the earth." Proverbs 17:24

Feels like straight in the heart rebuke when I read it this morning. 

Dear Mum and Dad, family and friends:

I am both sorry and not sorry. Which in effect is not sorry at all. And I am, in my better self, sorry for that.

Sorry that I don't really care about the great mess in my room nor the fact that I probably lost my identity card. It really doesn't matter at the end of it, like I said to the utter dismay of my friends in response to the possibility of missing our flight back to Singapore. 

After awhile, it kinda sucks being seen as crazy/foolish/needing to be restrained. Of course, there is truth in it. (No, I shall not be tempted into emotional pride and feel like it's me against the world) Yet I hope that some of this other-worldliness is a vision lived out... Of a world and people as meant to be. Though right now I'm more like, who am I kidding.

And yet, I know I must not give up this whole enterprise of living out the vision. The wander and wonder does lead to Something. Leave me not to my own devices, Father.