Blue. And existentially unimportant
But I know I (am supposed to) have the joy and that I can shoot down the second point with a dozen declarations from God in the Bible.
Still... there always comes this time, when I start to doubt. Like now.
Long-held fears and anxieties.
I'm boring, uncool, too serious to have fun with... No friends to really be with which makes me feel empty-sad.
And always this sense of futility- what am I doing with my life?
To make things worse, my friends do not seem similarly afflicted. Okay, the chances are that people do feel the same way but we aren't connected so I still feel alone.
How I have prayed for a confidant to know me, apart from God Himself! Yet perhaps for this very reason the answer is no/wait.